Faded Movie Star To Appear At $1 Store Grand Opening or Something
Hot on the heels of her experimental film’s smash two week engagement at cavernous mostly empty movie theaters prompting Box Office Mojo’s Brandon Gray to gush:
Undefeated boosters ran with the notion that the movie’s opening had the “second highest per-theater average of the weekend, behind only Harry Potter,” but the movie was actually sixth in that metric. They also latched onto a press release about how The Undefeated averaged “above $11,000 in top markets.” But averages are naturally higher in top markets (that’s why they’re “top markets”) and, without context (how it compared to other movies’ grosses in those markets), that was a meaningless statistic.
It’s extremely myopic to believe that having one of the higher per-theater averages on a given weekend means a movie is a success, and The Undefeated’s second weekend bore that out. Indeed, “per-theater average” is one of the most overrated stats. For limited releases, the most receptive locations are cherry-picked with the purpose to impress with a high per-theater average in order to book more markets. The fewer the theaters, the easier it is to have a higher average.
To put these numbers into further perspective: The Undefeated’s ten theaters on opening weekend yielded 159 showings. Using the current average ticket price of $7.86, that means the movie played to an estimated 52 people per average showing or at about one-fifth to one-quarter capacity. In the movie’s second weekend, which had 211 showings, the per-showing average attendance dropped to 15.
Sarah Palin is taking her Sarah! I’m The One I Love! griftshow on the road launching it in… hmmmm, oh yes, Waukee, Iowa because that is where all the big time acts (U2, Bruce Springsteen, Milli sans Dead Vanilli) kick off their summer stadium shows.
In the latest indication that her sights are still set on a presidential run, former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin has accepted an invitation to keynote a Tea Party rally in Waukee, Iowa, on Sept. 3, RealClearPolitics has learned.
Palin’s latest appearance in Iowa will come just two days after “The Undefeated,” a documentary film spotlighting her accomplishments in Alaska, will be released on Pay-Per-View and video-on-demand. In the film, Palin is portrayed as a continual thorn in the Republican establishment’s side. And it is the GOP, rather than the Democratic Party, that garners the better part of the movie’s scorn.
This is just like celebrities making appearances on Leno or Letterman to promote a movie, only in this case it’s sad because the movie has already failed in a spectacularly public fashion and now Sarah has to convince a bunch of Common Sense Conservatives Who Fucking Hate Government Spending to sign over their ethanol subsidy checks to her so that she can maybe run for president … if everybody grovels and tells her she’s the prettiest and really smart and Jesus’s favorite human being ever. And then, of course, she won’t and will instead spend the money building an outdoor ice rink at her new Arizona meth castle: Casa de los Tweakers Norteños.
But which Tea Party rally/whitefest is she appearing at? There is a shit-ton of them. Is it the Children of the Corn Tea Party? That would make sense. Nope, some other guys:
The outdoor rally on the first Saturday in September will take place at a field in Waukee, located just outside of Des Moines, and will be hosted by the Tea Party of America — an Iowa-based political action committee that was founded in May.
The midday affair will be the new group’s kickoff event and is sure to generate a large crowd and massive media attention.
One of the Tea Party of America’s co-founders, Charlie Gruschow, had previously founded the Des Moines Tea Party before splintering off to start a new group with some like-minded colleagues.
Do not dare mistake them for the Des Moines Tea Party or the People’s Popular Tea Party Front or Tea Party Is Go! or Bob & Steve Jes’ Tryin’ To Meet Some Single Moms, Maybe Get Lucky Tea Party or the Anti-Kenyan Tea Party That Actually Has A Black Friend, So Totally Not Racist, Okay? … because those guys are all fags or muslims, most likely both.
In fact, now that I think about it, Sarah has been hibernating the past few weeks, why is that? More plastic surgery? Another “pregnancy”? Rehab?:
Palin has been relatively quiet over the past month, as she has retreated to Alaska to immerse herself in policy and to strategize with her husband, Todd, and top advisers about how a potential campaign would work.
I’m kind of surprised Sarah is letting Todd help “strategize” since she went to, like, five more colleges than he did. That makes her about six times smarter than him….