I’m the worst thing to happen to the Democratic Party since Monica Lewinsky; #mywordscarryweight.

Michelle still thinks I’m cute; #mywordscarryweight.

I’m Good Enough, I’m Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People like Me; #mywordscarryweight.

I look oh so manly in a swimsuit; #mywordscarryweight.

I’m Optimus Prime; #mywordscarryweight.

I have the world’s largest dildo collection; #mywordscarryweight.

I just dropped clusterbomb on an Afghan village today; #mywordscarryweight.

Rahm thinks you’re a fucking retard; #mywordscarryweight.

Hey look!! Tax cuts!; #mywordscarryweight.

I’m a republican; #mywordscarryweight.

My mama thinks I’m special; #mywordscarryweight.