Warlocks Ruin America’s Sweetheart Sarah Palin’s Screen Debut

Conor Friedersdorf goes where no man wants to go:

In the parking lot of The Block, an outdoor mall in the City of Orange, I worried that arriving 45 minutes early was cutting it too close: it took 20 minutes to find parking, and folks were lining up scores deep outside the theater box office. Our airport is named after John Wayne. Ronald Reagan remains a hero to many. Even Richard Nixon’s association with this place is treated as a point of pride. When I was growing up here, a local hotel broadcast the Rush Limbaugh program everyday in its restaurant. I should’ve known there’d be a big turnout, I thought.

As I approached, however, I realized that most people present were dressed in costume. The crowd was either showing ironic solidarity with Christine O’Donnell, the tea party candidate who is not a witch, or else everyone was there to see the Harry Potter movie playing on a majority of the theater’s 30 screens. Without any way of telling Palin moviegoers from Potter fans dressed up like muggles, I’d have to pay, go to the assigned theater, and look for interviewees.

I hurried through the teenage hordes, bypassed a concession stand that sold 1,020 calories of soda for $5.25, and entered theater number 30, hoping I’d have ample time before the previews to talk to some people. But inside, the theater was empty. I sat there alone for 20 minutes, at which point an usher stuck his head in the door, gave me a quizzical smile, and said, “How come you’re not watching Harry Potter?” Then he left me by myself again, and without any good answer.

The producers of Atlas Shrugged probably spent the morning giving each other high fives….

Also. Too.  Here will be the #1 excuse for the empty theater:

Real Americans don’t go to midnight movies because they have to get up and go to work in the morning.

(Added) Aaaannnnd, like clockwork, it begins:

Of course no conservatives were there to see the 1245 am showing of a movie on a week night. They were all in bed so they could go to work the next day.

Dan Riehl’s response is adorable too:

Given Sarah Palin’s advocacy of common sense Conservatism, is it really surprising that an un-advertised throw away screening at 12:45 am in a multi-screen theater with multiple opening night screenings of the new Harry Potter movie might not be their preferred showing? Duh!

So “common sense Conservatism” dictates that you don’t go to midnight movies. Unless, of course, it’s a Harry Potter movie.

Harry Potter 2012!

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....