Beat Me In St. Louis

You may remember Kenneth Gladney, the Joan of Arc/Stephen Biko/Spartacus of the teabagging set who got into a scuffle at a teabagger rally two years ago. You may also remember how his videotaped beat-down made the Rodney King video look like Attack of the Tickle Monsters and how, on the next day, a brave and plucky Gladney showed up at another rally to show the world that Obama’s ACORNMuslimSEIU goons could not extinguish his indomitable spirit. U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

Yeah. Inspiring stuff.

Well Gladney got his day in court starting yesterday. So how’d that go?


Gladney’s testimony was the most damaging to the prosecution’s case. For starters, Gladney appeared in a neck brace, which brought back memories of him showing up at a tea party rally in a wheel chair despite the fact that he was running around with no obvious discomfort immediately after the altercation took place. The defense lawyer said that Gladney’s neck brace, which he was wearing because of surgery for a herniated disc, had nothing to do with the altercation, and Gladney did not challenge him on that point, so I assume it’s true. But this opened up a criticism from the defense lawyer who asked Gladney why he showed up at the tea party rally in a wheelchair. Gladney said, basically, that it was hot and he was on medication and “they didn’t have folding chairs or lawn chairs.” Ouch.

The defense lawyer also pointed out that Gladney had repeatedly claimed in the past that he was “handing out flags for free.” But this seemingly is in contradiction with his claim that he went to the rally to “make money” by selling buttons and flags. The defense lawyer suggested that Gladney said this because he thought it would make him appear more sympathetic, just as showing up in a wheelchair would make him appear more sympathetic.

And, today, he was right:

Two men charged in an altercation outside a contentious town hall forum in 2009 were found not guilty of assault after a trial in St. Louis County Municipal Court.


The two were charged with assaulting a person and interfering with police, both ordinance violations. The interfering with police charges were dropped and the trial was for assault charge, for which they could have each faced up to one year in jail and a $1,000 fine.

The jury deliberated about 40 minutes before returning with their verdict.

No word yet whether this gross miscarriage of justice has resulted in teabaggers  rioting in the streets of St Louis, overturning and setting fire to their Medicare-funded hoverounds and burning their disability and social security checks in the flames of freedom.

Meanwhile, belligerent nitwit-mom Dana Loesch and Remarkably Dumber Than He Looks, If That Is Possible, Jim Hoft are not taking this well.

Bonus fun screen shot & quote:

“I couldn’t beat them; I didn’t have the resources they had. They had all the money in the world and the backing… I’m just an average man.”

Gladney was represented by prosecutors representing St. Louis County. Unfortunately it appears that St Louis County didn’t have the resources to compete with a private attorney. I blame budget shortfalls due to tax cuts.

Funny how that worked out…

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....