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Late Night: Take the Money and Run (Toward the Danger!)

Consider yourselves warned.  You can only hide for another week.  Because next Friday, July 15, Sarah Palin’s hired hagiographic film The Undefeated (sadly, probably not based on the Iggy Pop song of the same name) will be released in multiple cities across the United States.

If the trailer (see video on the right) is any indication, the pseudo-documentary is chock full of the same unintentional self-parody that has made Palin herself so popular on the left side of the political spectrum.  Really, with the melodramatic opening music and silent titles proclaiming “DAUGHTER – WIFE – MOTHER – WARRIOR,” what viewer can help wondering if we’re about learn that Palin is secretly a programmed-from-birth assassin (sort of The Manchurian Candidate meets Hanna)?

You also have to love that first spoken words in the trailer are, “Like a marine, she runs toward the danger” — this about a woman whose most notorious achievement is quitting midway through her term as governor of Alaska to market herself and her family as reality-TV fodder, and who is too terrified of unscripted questions to appear in anything but the most staged public settings.

Meanwhile, in other faux-populism news, Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Death to Medicare) — last seen being portrayed as a heroic, humble man of the people attending town halls in Wisconsin — got caught Wednesday night in a fancy Washington, D.C. restaurant sharing a couple of $350 bottles of wine with two “economists” (who may or may not turn out to be lobbyists).

Ryan later claimed not to have realized the wine was anywhere near that expensive, even though the waiter’s presentation of it was so elaborate that it drew the attention of nearby diners (who took photos to document Ryan’s high living).  Fortunately, one of the diners apparently confronted the congressman in time for him to pay for one of the bottles — even though he purportedly hadn’t ordered it himself — and thereby avoid trouble for accepting an illegal gift.

Kind of like those fancy clothes the Republican National Committee forced on Palin in the fall of 2008 without her knowledge, I guess.  I tell you, there’s danger everywhere when you’re a culture warrior fighting for the common folks.  But y’know, leaders like Ryan and Palin are so fearless they can’t help running toward it.

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Swopa has been sharing prescient, if somewhat anal-retentive, analysis and garden-variety mockery with Internet readers since 1995 or so, when he began debunking the fantasies of Clinton-scandal aficionados on Usenet. He is currently esconced as the primary poster at Needlenose (