Hotline to Jesus

“Howdy from Texas Jesus! It’s been awhile since I’ve called your name.”

“Yeah, I know. You haven’t played golf in several weeks.”

“Well, uh… Hey, I got this invite to a solemn gathering of prayer and fasting for our country from our Governor Rick Perry.”

“Last time I had anything to do with a Governor things didn’t turn out too well. Excuse the pun but I still have a “hang up” about Governors! Prayer and fasting? Sounds up my holy alley. Tell me more.”

“Governor Perry is nothing like that sell out Pilate. He is a big follower of yours. He mentions your name often, especially when he is running for office!

He is going old school Prophet Joel. You remember him. He called on Israel to gather a sacred assembly for repentance, prayer, fasting, weeping and mourning.

I’m a bit confused though. Joel was Jewish, yet they aren’t inviting any Jews to be on the program. Come to think of it you were a Jewish Rabbi, yet they are advertising that you will be there!”

“For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

“I think you will be OK if you do the Spirit thing and stay incognito. Perry and his friends think you are a Christian. Just don’t do one of your money changers in the temple acts!”

Governor Perry is making this into a national spectacular. He is inviting Governors from every state to come fast and pray. Shoot it to me straight Jesus. Should I take part?”  [cont’d.]

“When you come before God, don’t turn that into a theatrical production. All these people making a regular show out of their prayers, hoping for stardom! Do you think God sits in a box seat?

Here’s what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won’t be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace.”

“Hmm. That kinda sounds like a no. What about the public fasting idea? That seems pretty spiritual. Our nation is in a big crisis you know.”

“Whenever you fast, do not look dismal, like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces so as to show others that they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that your fasting may be seen not by others but by your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.”

“I was all amped to go but I hear you loud and clear – it’s a double null and void. If I receive future religious invitations from Governor Perry how do I decide whether to accept? I know you have your hands full tending to Steve Job’s health and keeping an eagle eye on that socialist in the White House.”

Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thorns, or figs from thistles? In the same way, every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit.

A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus you will know them by their fruits.”

“Wow! That’s pretty strong medicine Jesus. You probably know we have had a lot of wildfires in Texas. I hope you are not trying to tell us something like you did those reprobates in New Orleans a few years back. Well, I’ve used up enough of your time. Thanks for taking my call.”

“By the way, Chuck. Get some golf lessons and maybe you will call my name more often in the fairway of life!”

Oxdown Diaries

Oxdown Diaries