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Late Night: The Summer of Two Minutes’ Hate

The first thing you notice when you start to pay attention to the American Right Wing is that they are fucking weird. (Click the link. You know you want to. Observation: Newt’s eyeballs are retreating into his head at precisely the same rate as his wife’s are extruding from hers. What does this mean? Nothing good…)

But thisthis is fucking astonishing.

Here’s another option now that the kids are out of school: a weeklong seminar about our nation’s founding principles, courtesy of the Tampa 912 Project.

The organization, which falls under the tea party umbrella, hopes to introduce kids ages 8 to 12 to principles that include “America is good,” “I believe in God,” and “I work hard for what I have and I will share it with who I want to. Government cannot force me to be charitable.”

The Ayn Rand School for Tots.

Tampa Liberty is modeled after vacation Bible schools, which use fun, hands-on activities to deliver Christian messages.

One example at Liberty: Children will win hard, wrapped candies to use as currency for a store, symbolizing the gold standard. On the second day, the “banker” will issue paper money instead. Over time, students will realize their paper money buys less and less, while the candies retain their value.

“Some of the kids will fall for it,” Lukens said. “Others kids will wise up.”

The smart ones will have chipped and decaying teeth and a lot of hard candy, which is the kind of candy your grandma gave you,  especially if you had the sort of  spooky grandma who drooled a lot and made everyone wonder whatever happened to that nice Homer Barron:

Another example: Starting in an austere room where they are made to sit quietly, symbolizing Europe, the children will pass through an obstacle course to arrive at a brightly decorated party room (the New World).

Red-white-and-blue confetti will be thrown. But afterward the kids will have to clean up the confetti, learning that with freedom comes responsibility.

Black kids might presumably have a less “fun” metaphorical journey. Asian kids are an afterthought. But the child labor point is well-made.

Still another example: Children will blow bubbles from a single container of soapy solution, and then pop each other’s bubbles with squirt guns in an arrangement that mimics socialism. They are to count how many bubbles they pop. Then they will work with individual bottles of solution and pop their own bubbles.

“What they will find out is that you can do a lot more with individual freedom,” Lukens said.

I think kids will learn that they want to play with squirt guns and bubbles, and eat candy, and run around, and that when some grownup starts blathering about the gold standard, they will start wondering about how the meth dealer down the road a piece suddenly doesn’t seem half so batshit.

The punchline:

There is room for 40 students in the Tampa school and as of Monday, eight had signed up. The fee is $15.

Eight times $15… the program has already earned FOUR MILLION DOLLARS. JOHN GALT, BITCHEZ.

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A community college professor from upstate NY. My wife & I have 347 children, all of them rotten.