Newt Gingrich’s Cunning Plan For Electoral Victory
As the Newt Gingrich 2012 Epic Failathon rolls on, it appears that Mr. Once-In-A-Century has finally hit upon a strategy for defeating Barack Obama, should he somehow manage to obtain the Republican nomination:
Speaking in front of a crowd made up largely of senior citizens, Gingrich reiterated his argument that since immigrants need to pass a test to become American citizens, “young Americans” should be forced to do the same “before they start voting.” A majority of the crowd seemed to approve, giving Gingrich resounding applause:
GINGRICH: [Immigrants] need to pass a test of American history. And candidly, it wouldn’t be bad to have a test like that for young Americans before they start voting.
Yep, just disenfranchise the youth vote that turned out so overwhelmingly for Obama in 2008 (and surely will again because he’s been so inspiring and awesome!), and everything else should just magically fall into place. Of course, aside from being blatantly unconstitutional, it also assumes that young people who watch Fox News will be more knowledgeable than those who read, say, Firedoglake. Then again, maybe the Texas School Board would provide the answer key.
Is the GOP fielding such crappy candidates because they all expect to be raptured tomorrow (and if so, why are they freaking out about the national debt)? It would explain why their two best general-election candidates are Mormons, though.
UPDATE: Never mind! Apparently when Newt said “It wouldn’t be bad to have a test like that for young Americans before they start voting,” he didn’t mean “that we ought to create a test for young people,” just that knowledge of American history is terribly important. So true, especially when it comes to stuff like the Constitution and the Voting Rights Act. Or one’s own words from, like, a day ago.