Ramblin’ NAMBLAin Obamalin Man

Hey, anyone heard from Gun Counter Gomer recently?

Well there hasn’t been fire on the mountain or lightning in the air for quite a spell, so I thought I’d check in on him. Make sure he didn’t get his head stuck in a gallon bean can. Again.

Seems he dun set hissef up a brand spankin’ new blog where he does a little man-spankin’ over guns and shootin’ and stuff. It’s genius, actually. He has convinced gun manufacturers to send him weaponry to “review” for (judging by the lack of activity in the comments), well, him and probably his wife (who counts as two readers since she’s also his cousin twice removed…by the social workers, but  she escaped both times). Presumably, since Bob’s Gun Counter (and, seriously, no love for giving him the idea? Royalties?) started up, there isn’t a street sign in Chigger County that doesn’t boast more perforations than Michelle Duggar’s diaphragm. But Bob has been a busy man lately, and even the call of the “hold muh beer, bang-bang” must wait:

I hate neglecting the blog, but I’m the lead on a major project at work and have been dedicating my time to learning new tech in order to make it all happen.

Yee-haw! Good-bye fry baskets! Hell-ooo spatula! High five! Okay, six, in your case, Skeeter Jim.

But even the sizzle and pop of a 2/3 lb. Monster Thickburger® will have to wait cuz that colored Muslim feller’s still havin’ his way with the white people, only this time… it’s young-uns:

Once again, Barack Obama turns to the reliably left-leaning sensibilities of a college campus to continue his perpetual campaign.

It’s creepy how the President continually hides behind the pseudo-intellectual ignorance of adolescents and young adults who lack real-world experience. They seem utterly unaware that the platitudes he offers and the monstrous debit he champions are shackles constricting their opportunities, resigning them to a bleak future.

It is in some respects pedophilistic (sic) watching the President gloat among the young. Let us make no mistake; the Obama agenda is child abuse of generations of Americans just starting to make their way in this world, and of generations to come. He rapes their futures with a smile and a wave and a lie, and didn’t even offer them candy.

Holy Northern Aggression! Is that Obamanation fella cruising the halls of Justin Bieber Charter Middle School Of Performing Arts and Future Singing Telegram Strippers?

Kind of:

President Obama will start a three-day swing that blends politics and policy with a town hall Tuesday at Northern Virginia Community College in Annandale.

From Tuesday to Thursday, Obama is scheduled to speak at two other town halls, one in Reno, Nev., the other at the headquarters of Facebook in Palo Alto, Calif. He will also attend at least four fundraisers in the Bay Area and Los Angeles, where the president will end his trip before returning to Washington on Friday.

And you know who likes to spend an evening at a town hall talking policy and politics?


That’s why Obama is doing it on Tuesday. Because if he waited to later in the week, they wouldn’t be able to concentrate because it would be Friday, Friday. Gotta get down on Friday. Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend.

Also, fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun too.

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....