Not everything a blogger posts can be political all the time. This is why I am going to take this opportunity to talk about the person that more than any other has made me the man I am. Today is the 15th anniversary of my marriage to my wife Liz.
We met 20 years ago when she was working as a waitress at Hooters (yeah, she just loves it when I tell this story). For me it was love at first sight. And I mean that quite sincerely. There was something about her, and it was not the tight bright orange shorts.
As these things often go, she thought I was a loud mouth jerk and way, way, way too full of myself. Not being one to take “get lost you poser” lying down I set out to win her. It took a while but eventually I managed to scrape together enough integrity and humility that she saw I was not all jerk and there might be some redeeming qualities and agreed to a date.
It has been a long time since that first date, but we have pretty much been madly in love that whole time.
One thing that I have come to firmly believe is that you can not fulfill your potential as a person while you do everything for yourself. I used to say that this was especially true of men, since I have only ever been a man, but some of my women friends have told me it is true for them too, so I will make this generalization.
I have had a great upbringing. My parents and family have provided me with support and knowledge, with examples both positive and negative on how a good man and a good member of society acts. I have been inspired to work for justice and to look for ways to give those who have not been as lucky as I the same kind of opportunities that were mine for the asking.
All that is the base that came from my family, but without the desire to be a good person, not for myself but so Liz would be proud of me, I would not be where I am today. I admit to being petty and selfish from time to time and when I do rise above it, the reason is that Liz would want me to and being good in her eyes is more important to me than a pot of gold.
At this point I have shared half my life with this remarkable woman. It seems like thirty minutes. Which is not to say that we have not had fights, or that we have not been less than perfect with each other, after all we are human. But there is something there that twenty years has knitted together that keeps us from flying apart.
In good times (and there have been some) in bad times (ditto) she has my back. I can screw up and she is there to help me find the way out. I can doubt myself horribly and she is there to tell me that I am worth while and to keep going.
She often tells me that I am “the bestest hubby” which I can never accept, but for Liz I will make the attempt daily to achieve that.
I know that I am incredibly lucky. There are a limited number of great women in the world and for some unknown reason one has chosen to stand with me. I hope that everyone reading this will be able to find that person, the one that loves you, not for your money or status, not for your fabulous body or wavy hair, not for the good works you do but just for you.
Life is hard, it has always been thus. When humans are alone they are unhappy. It is the rare person indeed who really enjoys only their own company. Having a partner who will be with you, be on your side come what may is critical. If you don’t have the person, go find one. They don’t have to be prefect, hell no one is perfect, but if they love you and are loyal to you and inspire you, isn’t that a good definition of perfect?
I have my perfect partner. She has faults and flaws, but I love her more than when I first laid eyes on her and today I am willing to put it out in the world that I love her madly, deeply and truly. May you all find the same in your lives.
The floor is yours.