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Late Night: At Least We’re Not the Ones Trashing, You Know, The Planet…

In a fascinating yet idiotic development, the “Wisconsin Tea Party” has decided that they are going to descend upon Madison and “Take Out the Trash.” You see, the tea-morons are convinced the labor rights protesters are filthy disgusting hippies who have littered the capitol with discarded Marijuana Roaches and used Kotex products. The reason the tea-morons believe this is that they are nitwits who not merely believe inane Fox News propaganda, but masturbate to it.

It’s not about partisanship or protests, but pride.

It is time to take out the trash… literally. In true Flash Mob fashion, on Sunday at exactly 1300 hours (1:00 pm for you non-military types) we will do an extensive police call (pick up the trash) around the capitol square. Regardless of the state the grounds are in, we will do this as both a literal and symbolic way to show our respect for our home.

TEA Partiers know how this is done. It is time to show OUR pride for OUR state OUR way and be the example.

Even if you cannot attend, please share this and invite all of your sane friends who share our love of Wisconsin.

As it happens, my sane friends from Wisconsin are out there already with the protesters, taking pictures and videos and not, you know, making messes.

Because there are no messes! Why, the protesters are treating the capitol building “with the utmost care and respect.” Hell, even noted wingnut-celebrated birdbrain Ann Althouse says there’s no trash, contra the Kotex-mongering of a certain famous hard-right slob of a junkie sex-tourist deejay. And Althouse is opposed to the protesters to the point of dementia! (Though dementia is, of course, the mental region she typically inhabits anyhow.)

There’s a certain piquancy in that the news of the teabag swabbing-crew comes to us from Jim Hoft, who earlier this week was squealing amusingly about the “estimate” that it would cost (Dr. Evil, pinkie in mouth) SEVEN MILLION DOLLARS! to clean up after the protests, an “estimate” that turned out to be “hilarious bullshit.” As I’ve said before, though, this makes sense; anyone stupid enough to genuinely believe it would cost $7.5 million to tidy up after the protests is someone genuinely stupid enough to believe that public school teachers are the reason the economy sucks.

But beyond the yuks, it’s not clear what will happen when the teabaggers show up and try to “clean” when all they’ll have to clean will be… protesters’ signs. Fun fun!

And on a meta-level, it’s pretty fucking charming that people who have no trouble reducing foreign countries to ruin and rubble based on nonsensical propaganda are all of a sudden neat freaks — not to mention that these are the same malevolent geeks gleefully trashing the planet by talking horseshit about climate change.

Charming, but not surprising. Petty mindless authoritarians are very frequently neat freaks. You’ll never see a shabby jackboot, right?

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Dear Mr. President,



A community college professor from upstate NY. My wife & I have 347 children, all of them rotten.