Tuesday Late Night: Bad Vibes?

TSA’s super-frisky frisking vs their really rad–as in radiation–full body scan prompted  witty  manufacturers to churn out underwear with the 4th Amendment  screened in metal ink. The magic undies send a firm message about privacy while shielding (what could be) the fun stuff  from prying eyes.

But  libertines, courtesans, romantics and even Ted Haggard had better think about what they’re packing in their hand-held luggage, since a Minnesota man, Terry Allen Lester,  has developed a new tool terrorists could use to shake things up: a remote controlled exploding vibrator. Lester had planned to send it to an ex-girlfriend as a holiday gift. Wow.

The Smoking Gun reports that Lester:

placed “gun powder, BB shot, and buck shot from shotgun shells” into the modified device, which had “black and red wires that connected to a trigger with a battery port,”allegedly was planning on giving the vibrator as a Christmas gift to one of three former girlfriends, with whom he had relationships that “ended badly.”… The woman who contacted police said Lester told her that “when the device was inserted into the female he would pull the trigger and it would blow them up.”

Lester, according to tsg:

also left behind tools, cords, cables, and the remains of a drill that was disassembled “to use the parts for the vibrator bomb.”

So first the threat of liquids led to  passengers being ordered to drink carry-on formula and breast milk; the shoe bomber made security lines even more sole-less;  the panty bomber and and rumors of  exploding breast implants gave us gate rape. But if you stop having sex the way you like it, then the terrorists (and uptight nutbags) have won. Keep America free by keeping her sexy!

So will  TSA  post a new sign telling travelers to put sex toys in plastic tray along with computers and cell phones and eagerly start rifling carry-ons for bullet-vibes, the rabbit and ben wa balls?  Is nothing sacred?!

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Lisa Derrick

Lisa Derrick

Los Angeles native, attended UC Berkeley and Loyola Marymount University before punk rock and logophilia overtook her life. Worked as nightclub columnist, pop culture journalist and was a Hollywood housewife before writing for and editing Sacred History Magazine. Then she discovered the thrill of politics. She also appears frequently on the Dave Fanning Show, one of Ireland's most popular radio broadcasts.