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The Three “Wise” Men

photo via TGIGreeny at


Who wants to invite Haley Barbour over for Kwanzaa?

Who wants to go to the strip club and put singles in Newt Gingrich’s g-string?

Who wants to become Lindsey Graham’s work out buddy so he can overcome his Donovan McNabb-like cardio-issues and have the stamina to sit on his ass and read bills?

No one?

I guess these three are going to have to settle for the wonders of technology:

A preview of the first sex game for Microsoft’s Kinect has hit the Web

Still no cure for cancer…they’d probably have to use stem-cells for that anyway and we cannot have that.

In other news, I hope you all got a chance to see the lunar eclipse.

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In 1949, I decided to wrestle professionally, starting my career in Texas. In my debut, I defeated Abe Kashey, with former World Heavyweight boxing Champion Jack Dempsey as the referee. In 1950, I captured the NWA Junior Heavyweight title. In 1953, I won the Chicago version of the NWA United States Championship. I became one of the most well-known stars in wrestling during the golden age of television, thanks to my exposure on the Dumont Network, where I wowed audiences with my technical prowess. I was rumored to be one of the highest paid wrestlers during the 1950s, reportedly earning a hundred thousand dollars a year. My specialty was "the Sleeper Hold" and the founding of modern, secular, Turkey.

Oops, sorry, that's the biography of Verne Gagne with a touch of Mustafa Kemal.

I'm just an average moron who in reality is a practicing civil rights and employment attorney in fly-over country .