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Absolutely Fascinating

I interrupt my desire to pile on the Democratic Party — who deserve it in a fashion — by piling on the Republicans and the media, who really deserve it.

I’m sure you’ll all be tuned in to Barbara Walters ask her list of ‘fascinating’ people what kind of tree they’d like to be this year. But look who is still somehow fascinating:

BARBARA WALTERS: And Sarah Palin, for the third year, we have had Sarah Palin. Because every year, she does something fascinating.

For example, this is…so…um…fascinating:

On leaving her hunting camp one morning, Ms Palin pointed to the horizon and declared “Let’s go west.” There followed an awkward pause. “That’s east,” noted her father.

It’s really fascinating that she’s so shockingly stupid.

Sorry, I guess, I’ve offended Charles Blow and focused on Palin again, unlike Barbara Walters who is the soul of journalism. How fascinating.

My apologies.

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In 1949, I decided to wrestle professionally, starting my career in Texas. In my debut, I defeated Abe Kashey, with former World Heavyweight boxing Champion Jack Dempsey as the referee. In 1950, I captured the NWA Junior Heavyweight title. In 1953, I won the Chicago version of the NWA United States Championship. I became one of the most well-known stars in wrestling during the golden age of television, thanks to my exposure on the Dumont Network, where I wowed audiences with my technical prowess. I was rumored to be one of the highest paid wrestlers during the 1950s, reportedly earning a hundred thousand dollars a year. My specialty was "the Sleeper Hold" and the founding of modern, secular, Turkey.

Oops, sorry, that's the biography of Verne Gagne with a touch of Mustafa Kemal.

I'm just an average moron who in reality is a practicing civil rights and employment attorney in fly-over country .