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The Zombie Politicians and Vampire Capitalists Are Coming!

Zombie Politician reporting for duty. by

No, I know. Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert had this rally a few weeks ago to “restore sanity” and they wanted people to take it down a notch for America and try to use language that would not be a conversation stopper. Colbert tried to keep fear alive, but Stewart just wouldn’t have it. At one point, a big faceoff went down between Yusuf Islam and Ozzy Osbourne over what train to get on board. Thankfully, a consensus developed and it was decided they both would get on board the “Love Train.”

The problem is this isn’t really something that is made up to conjure unfounded fear. I am not claiming Obama is a socialist with no proof of a socialist agenda. I am not claiming the government is taking over healthcare and there will be death panels. Nor am I claiming that some New World Order is plotting the demise of all the people of the world and they have some secret Skull & Bones-like fraternity where they develop and plot their next move. I am serious. The zombie politicians and vampire capitalists are coming!

Vampire capitalists made certain we the people were unable to have the ability or authority to set the terms for the 2010 Midterm Election. Their thirst for accumulating wealth through control of the political process pushed them to manipulate campaign finance regulations. Exploitation of a landmark decision on freedom of speech for corporations, the Citizens United v. FEC decision, meant money flooded the election in record amounts. Karl Rove’s American Crossroads GPS, the Koch Brothers (key financiers of the Tea Party), and the Chamber of Commerce all sought to sway the election with money that was funneled through Super PACs or 501(c)4 organizations that did not have to disclose who or what group was making donations.

With crazed zeal like that of Bela Lugosi, leaders of key industries shifted their dollars away from Democrats and moved them over to Republicans, who could be trusted to do their vampire capitalist masters’ bidding. Health insurance companies shifted dollars as a result of discontent over the actions of Democrats when passing Obamacare. Industries in the vampire safe haven of Wall Street moved their donations to another Party that could be counted on to act in their favor unapologetically and act as an infantry of zombies and further form a diabolical alliance to bring them more opportunities to suck wealth or blood from the bottom 90% in America.

Renfield-esque lobbyists were deployed as servants to these vampire capitalists. Their efforts were focused on the financial “reform” legislation. They aimed to get to politicians and agencies and render impotent the aspects that might bring enforcements, which would limit the vampire capitalists’ abilities to accumulate wealth. They targeted federal agencies like the Securities Exchange Commission and the Commodity Futures Trading Commission so they could continue to engage in unregulated credit default swaps (like inter-species vampire capitalist sex) or predatory subprime mortgage lending (a scheme that at first involves the vampire capitalist sacrificing some of his blood or capital but usually ends in the vampire capitalist recapturing that capital from the person given capital to survive and more).

In the aftermath of the election, it is clear a zombie army of political leaders led by the bronze-faced Speaker-elect John Boehner (who tans to hide his pale skin and keep his true zombie nature secret) will waste no time when doing the bidding of vampire capitalists. He and others like him have worked in tandem with vampire capitalist astroturf grassroots organizations like FreedomWorks and Americans for Prosperity. They have been turning more and more Americans into walking dead. Some of the walking dead have even been elected to join the ranks. People like Rand Paul and Marco Rubio saw a swell of undead go to the polls and vote for them to be their leader and go after Big Government.

The stage is set: Servants to vampire capitalists, Democrat Erskine Bowles and Republican Alan K. Simpson, who co-chair a Deficit Commission appointed by President Barack Obama, released a report demonstrating their dedication to vampire capitalism. Their one-track ideology appeared front-and-center showing they would focus on protecting the top 2%’s ability to prosper at the expense of the bottom 90%. Their report gave warning that they wanted to go after programs that benefit the working people of America, like Social Security, even when that was to be off-limits.

Vampire capitalists, defenders of the Deficit Commission say, must be able to trade freely without government getting in the way. The less restrictions and the less they are taxed or have their blood or capital extracted while they are in the midst of trying to accumulate it and dole it out to the slaves dependent on their lines of blood or capital, the better. Hence, servants to vampire capitalists Bowles and Simpson propose a corporate tax break from 35 percent to 26 percent and a decrease for the highest tax bracket from 35 to 23 percent.

Health insurance deductions, ends to home mortgage exemptions, freezes to federal salaries, bonuses and other compensations along with hundreds of thousands of government workers eliminated all ensures there will be more underlings out wandering and searching for hope. Their ability to survive will be tested as walking dead tempt them with ideological notions, which peg President Obama, liberals and government as the reason for their destitution.

Vampire capitalists and walking dead through their own media network, which helps to accumulate capital or blood for zombie politicians and vampire capitalists to use to make the world anew will continue to wield influence. Government workers will be made to seem like the undead. Bureaucrats will continue to be cast as Frankenstein’s monsters engineered by government in violation of the social order of the free market and the Calvinist doctrine, which feed both the vampire capitalists and zombie politicians. Activists or progressives will be made to seem like the undead, coming to take what little people have away by calling for Socialist redistributions of wealth.

These zombie politicians and vampire capitalists also enjoy a new breed of monster: the Mama Grizzly. Middle-aged vixens prance about enticing the walking dead with pleasures of an America that does not apologize for a country that is the most greatest nation on the planet. They stimulate the flesh-eating tendencies of the walking dead into mobilizing to take on anything they cast as threats to society, like government death panels or ACORN organizations or creeping Sharia, which would would drive a stake through freedoms the walking dead enjoy.

President Barack Obama and Democrats have barricaded themselves in rooms to privately discuss the unfolding scenario over the past weeks. Some of them are infected with clinical vampirism and nurse it privately. Others like Democrat Dick Durbin admit vampire capitalists own the place. Jim Webb seeks to inform the public about how the vampire capitalists have turned his Party into an impotent, weak and defenseless force against the march of cold-blooded vampire capitalism. And, many like Sen. Bernie Sanders and soon-to-be former Rep. Alan Grayson talk of Blue Dogs, the zombie wing of the Democratic Party which uses bipartisanship and compromise to justify an agenda that favors vampire capitalists almost exclusively.

The president thinks he must use zombie tactics to move forward. The vampire capitalists, a few of which work in his Administration (like Timothy Geithner), have him on guard and he believes that he must give them what they want. But, these tactics will not neutralize the diabolical forces that are lining up to take on his Administration.

Trips to foreign countries for outside help will not save the Democrats. Appeals to the cast of extras from a never-ending George Romero flick will not bring a halt to the dark forces. Giving a little bit of ground on tax cuts will only give them the life’s blood to thirst for more flesh and more flesh and more flesh. It will embolden them to mount hunting expeditions through oversight investigations into walking dead New Black Panther Party conspiracies. It will motivate them to target those who promote climate change hoax conspiracies, which they despise because they take away their power to eat the future and bring on the apocalypse.

The living are the only ones who can save this society rife with monsters. Zombie politicians will continue to spread viruses to others unless the living can come up with antidotes. These antidotes will not be easy to produce. The living whom I speak of must courageously confront darkness. They must stare these zombie politicians down and beat them back with proverbial clubs, guns and machetes. Go for their heads, which is after all the evil that keeps them parading onward.

A defense as well as an offense must be mounted. Do not ask permission from the top. Those who tried to save us before have been rendered powerless and need to see a force other than them in order to regain strength. The White House is a bunker that has been breached. Zombie politicians and vampire capitalists are inside and gaining power rapidly.

Meanwhile, the living with several liberal organizations that can be counted to be allies are wondering what to do next. Stupefied by the forces lining up, they waffle and putter when there can be no waffling or puttering. There is little analysis to be done. The living know what is happening and just have to find the will to act.

I’ll restate this for those confused and thinking I have just described the plot of a new Hollywood movie: Zombie politicans and vampire capitalists are here and they want what they feel they are entitled to. And, there are enough walking dead willing to help them get what blood or wealth they think government should hand out to them.

This isn’t going to be easy. Forces will not cower in the face of reason or truth, which traditionally has had some impact. the brute force of certitude and passion will have to bring victory as the living either fight or die.

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Kevin Gosztola

Kevin Gosztola

Kevin Gosztola is managing editor of Shadowproof. He also produces and co-hosts the weekly podcast, "Unauthorized Disclosure."

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