Andrew Breitbart’s ABC Death Will Not Have Been In Vain
Lost in all of the post-election analysis and hoo-hah is the inspiring tale of the death of Andrew Breitbart’s 1st Amendment rights, when ABC totally cock-blocked his opinions, and how this affront to freedom and our fighting men and women has inspired the unpaid drones at his Big Stupid Journalism/Government/Chalupa/Racist sites to be even more citizen journalisty than ever before.
For those not up on this pre-election inconsequential controversy, it seems that ABC mistakenly invited Breitbart to be part of their ACTION News Election Night coverage and Andrew was all “Sweet! Wait till I tell all my minions.” but then ABC was all, “Whoa. We meant for you to co-host America’s Funniest Highly-Edited Home Videos Of Black People Saying The Darndest Things. Not to talk about things you understand less than Dick Morris”. But by then Andrew had already told both of his friends about his hot date and now, boom, he was left standing there with his dick in his hand. So Andrew got all shitty about it and posted all the notes that ABC had been slipping into his locker during civics class, and then ABC was all, “Dude, we just not that into you. So seriously, you know, fuck off.” And then freedom died and America wept.
But out of the ashes of defeat has risen a New Phoenix Of PhFreedom and you cannot stop the Phoenix of PhFreedom, you can only hope to contain it for…. a little while at least. Or something like that. Let Big Journalism’s elfin nitwit housewife/editor Dana Loesch explain it to you:
While liberalism looks to regain its composure after suffering a historic defeat at the polls yesterday, they and their cohorts in mainstream media will be holding up any little victory, no matter how small, to prove their ideological relevancy in a society that has soundly rejected them.
One of those instances of which I speak is the story of Andrew Breitbart and ABC. The Soros-funded bloggers at Media Matters think they won a victory in leading the tantrum to drive him off the air. I suspect it was far more rooted in envy than anything else; Breitbart has done more in a the last two years to affect the trajectory of policy in this country – publishing the tapes of the now-destroyed ACORN, raising the profile of the Pigford scandal, et al. – than Media Matters has accomplished in its entire existence. Maybe that’s why people like Eric Boehlert are continually omitted from invitations to national discourse? Maybe it’s why JournoListas like Greg Sargent formally of Soros-funded Talking Points Memo never gain national attention except in scathing critiques on blogs by people lamenting the loss of journalistic integrity from people who live off the unearned credit of the term “journalist.”
Make no mistake: the left failed to silence Andrew Breitbart on election night. His empire was represented by yours truly on air and his sentiment is one I share.
Hah! Suck it. Media Matters libtards! Dana got on teevee so she (and Andrew Breitbart) won the internet war. To illustrate this very important game-changing fact to Big Journalism readers who are more “picture readers” than “word readers” Dana provides a still shot from famous homosexual war-comedy cartoon 300
….because the citizen journalists at Andrew Breitbart’s Big Ol’ Big sites are just like the flaming warriors of Sparta who battled the Media Matters/Soros mongol horde at the Battle of Thermopylae (“Thermopylae” is greek-latin for “hot butt-crack”. You can look it up). Wait. Wait. That’s not right. No, the guys at Media Matters are the gay soldiers who all died and are now dining in hell and watching gladiator movies.
It’s one of those. You figure it out.
U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!