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Late Night: Ancient Chinese Seeeeecrets…

It seems Christine O’Donnell isn’t just worried about “turning Japanese”. Turns out she was positive we were going to turn Chinese, as well:

WASHINGTON — Republican Senate nominee Christine O’Donnell of Delaware said in a 2006 debate that China was plotting to take over America and claimed to have classified information about the country that she couldn’t divulge.

When Ting challenged O’Donnell’s claim about having secret information, O’Donnell didn’t answer specifically but suggested she had received it through nonprofit groups she worked with that frequently sent missionaries there.

What information could O’Donnell possibly have received in 2006 from these nameless “nonprofit groups that frequently sent missionaries” to China that could be considered classified? How to escape a Chinese finger trap? The mystery meat in a Wo Hop dumpling? The magic source of those ageless Asian complexions? Or did she honestly believe she was the first person to discover that China had been buying up U.S. debt for years?

(Hey, at least China is building toward the future instead of retreating to the Dark Ages. They actually HAVE a robust green technology sector, for starters.)

But back to the task at hand (whoops!): How many more times will we discover that the Delaware Dabbler, taking her cues from the Palin “Aggrandizing Fabrications” Playbook, let fly another wild accusation that no one could possibly verify (except when it came to her embellishments of her father’s acting career), and why in god’s name won’t anybody in the media ever challenge these bizarro claims of Fox News’ freshly minted darling? At least New York Tea Party thug gubernatorial candidate Carl Paladino was actively pursued by reporters when he made those grotesque allegations about Andrew Cuomo’s marital fidelity.

Also in your Daily Dabbler news: the first television ad from the O’Donnell campaign has the cipher candidate — hair ironed flat in stark contrast to the 90’s “wild women against onanism” look she previously favored — gazing directly at the camera and asserting her ordinariness, “I’m not a witch. I’m you.” If that’s true, then I’ll forward her my credit card bills so she can pay them out of her campaign treasury.

I am convinced that Paladino is now going to have to ratchet up the batshit-itude several notches or he risks handing over his Crazy Train engineer’s cap to O’Donnell. The woman is pathologically incapable of telling the truth about anything except her refusal to lie to Nazis.

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NYC-based aquatic feline that likes long walks on the beach, illuminating the hypocrisies of "family values" Republicans, and engaging in snarling snarkitude.