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Bristol Palin: Dancing with the Stars, Potential Ballot Stuffing?! Demand Reform!

Clap for Bristol!

Tonight I am going to interrupt my regularly scheduled catchup of Tivo’ed One Tree Hill reruns–I’m now up to their senior year at Tree Hill High, and Lucas has just admitted he has a heart condition; plus he’s stiill in love with Brooke who is competing with new girl Rachel, the red head with a secret.

Instead I’ll liveblog Bristol Palin on Dancing with the Stars. Though, calling Bristol Palin  a “star” is really pushing it. One appearance on The Secret Life of the American Teenager does not a star make. But maybe the star in question is Mark Ballas, Bristols’s dancing partner who scored two series wins.

With Sarah Palin allegedly in the audience, supposedly the duo will be cutting a rug to Three Dog Night’s “Mama Told Me Not To Come” which seems a little too stunt casting. And really, to be biologically correct shouldn’t the title be “I Told Him Not to Come”? Or heck, just scrap it and twist away to Martin Mull’s “Jesus is Easy” with the catchy refrain, “Jesus is easy, just get down or your knees” because you can’t like get preggers from a bj.

Bristol is low balled at 22/1 odds to win this season, though Florence Henderson has the worst odds, at 25/1.  Dancing With the Stars though is more of popularity contest than a strict talent-only show, so maybe the Palinites will GOTV for Miss Abstinence Only…

Audrina Patridge 8/1
Brandy 3/1
Bristol Palin 22/1
“The Hoff” David Hasselhoff 10/1
Florence Henderson 25/1
Jennifer Grey 7/2
Kyle Massey 25/1
Kurt Warner 12/1
Margaret Cho 20/1
Michael Bolton 10/1
Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino 7/1
Rick Fox 11/2

Imagine my horror, though when someone sent me email explaining how to skew the vote on DWTS to make sure a certain favorite wins. Wait, I thought the idea always was one person, one vote, but on reality shows it’s like ten votes per person. Or more if you are sneaky. Somehow that seems down right unAmerican! Unless of course you want America’s Sweetheart to win. And what if Bristol gets a low vote and LOSES? Will there be a recount? A re-jiggering of how voting works?

At any rate, here’s what I was sent about DWTS’ voting.

1. You can vote multiple accounts on multiple browsers. So if you have 10 accounts you can vote them on IE, then switch to Mozilla, then to Google Chrome, and any number of browsers.

2. You can vote the same accounts on multiple computers. The system does not register that an account has already been voted.

3. You do not have to use a legit email to start an account. For example, I pick a local college. All of their emails end in nctc.edu, so I make up an user name and add that to the end in order to make up additional accounts.

4. If fans are in contact with other fans, they can share their account lists and vote each set on other computers.

5. Start voting as soon as the show starts-once its over phone lines are jammed and online voting slows down. I normally vote until around 11CST, get a few hours sleep and then hit it again. Overnight the online voting is much faster.

I will not participate in voter fraud, even if it’s a reality show, and I sincerely hope none you will either. I am hoping that exposing this heinous miscarriage will trigger an ethics investigation and put an end to the ghastly practice of reality TV ballot stuffing!

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Lisa Derrick

Lisa Derrick

Los Angeles native, attended UC Berkeley and Loyola Marymount University before punk rock and logophilia overtook her life. Worked as nightclub columnist, pop culture journalist and was a Hollywood housewife before writing for and editing Sacred History Magazine. Then she discovered the thrill of politics. She also appears frequently on the Dave Fanning Show, one of Ireland's most popular radio broadcasts.