In search of a phantom fig leaf: 'How to oppose gay marriage without being homophobic'
On The Grio, Sophia A. Nelson takes a stab at establishing that there is a way to oppose marriage equality without being a bigot. Let’s be charitable and say that if there is such a position, hers didn’t hit the mark.
Let me start by admitting that I know very few openly gay or lesbian people and as such my exposure to this population of Americans has been limited at best. I did, however, get to know a colleague at my former law firm who was a white gay male, in a committed partner relationship, with two adopted black children. And getting to know him dramatically shifted my view on whether or not gays should be able to adopt children. Once I saw how well he loved, cared for and nurtured those kids (who were left as infants by a drug-addicted black mother), I had to concede that those two kids were better off in a loving home, than in the cold and hapless foster care system in America. The same is true for watching the genuine love and commitment between this man and his partner.
For the record, I am a Christian and hold fast to Christian Bible orthodoxy on this subject. More troubling for me than my religious beliefs has been the notion that the gay marriage struggle is akin to the Civil Rights struggle of blacks in this country, or that of Richard & Mildred Loving here in Virginia in 1967 to be allowed to inter marry as a white man and black woman in the South. To be honest I just am not sure I see it that way.
I know that subscribing to such beliefs may seem limited, dated, and perhaps even prejudiced, but my faith is what it is, and yet, like many other Americans I get that two people who love each other and want to share their lives together should not be denied the right to do so.
Although I believe as does President Obama that marriage is between a man and a woman, I support some form of legal recognition of a committed couple’s love for each other. How can that be so you ask? Because supporting traditional marriage and adhering to timeless religious doctrine does not mean you have to be against gay people.
That first paragraph clearly shows her ability to grow through exposure to gay and lesbian people that she gets to know, yet in her heart she, like the infamous John Edwards, just can’t “cross that bridge” to accept the two people she knows deserves to unite with the same rights and responsibilities using the word “marriage.”
And then this:
I am a Christian and hold fast to Christian Bible orthodoxy on this subject.
Then why does she not subscribe to the belief that a man can have hundreds of wives? And then this ludicrous nonsense:
Because supporting traditional marriage and adhering to timeless religious doctrine does not mean you have to be against gay people.
Huh? If she means traditional religious marriage, no one is forcing her to accept same-sex marriage in her church or any other. That is her religious freedom at work. However, if she also believes that gay and lesbian couples should not have access to civil marriage, then she is indeed a bigot. The mental gymnastics at work here is her strong desire to absolve herself of any bias.
Again we see an otherwise intelligent person fail to understand the separation between church and state. The fact that she would tell the few gays and lesbians she knows that they cannot marry in the eyes of the law (not your God), renders it impossible to run away from the fact that she considers them unworthy of a civil right you are entitled to. It’s that simple. It’s bias. FAIL.
The floor is open to pick this one apart.