Shorter Ross Douthat:
I will concede the inevitability of gay marriage if we can all agree that a bland sterile heterosexual marriage like mine is, in the final tally, say, 3% more awesomer. Deal?
Note: For those who don’t read Ross Douthat, and most Americans wisely don’t, each Douthat column follows the same script: a seemingly well thought out and reasonable statement of belief only to be undone in the last two paragraphs by his inner puritan. I bet he “pulls out” even when he masturbates.
Added: Longer Douthat (well, it is Greenwald) here.