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Today in failed Metaphors

USS Harry S. Truman via Defence Images at Flickr.comFor years American naval power has been able to swing it’s big stick unchallenged. As our Nimitz-class nuclear carriers were thrust into every place oil was to be found in abundance international hot spot. Full of overcompensation and seamen.

But our virility is threatened.

U.S. naval planners are scrambling to deal with what analysts say is a game-changing weapon being developed by China — an unprecedented carrier-killing missile called the Dong Feng 21D that could be launched from land with enough accuracy to penetrate the defenses of even the most advanced moving aircraft carrier at a distance of more than 1,500 kilometers (900 miles).

This can mean only one thing. No universal health care, no infrastructure renewal, no “home-based” stimulus until we build a new form of carrier impenetrable to the Dong, or at least ‘theoretically’.

This is the greatest threat to America’s naval power since John McCain was on the Forrestal so government, please spend $1 trillion dollars or more on this necessary project immediately — for peace.

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In 1949, I decided to wrestle professionally, starting my career in Texas. In my debut, I defeated Abe Kashey, with former World Heavyweight boxing Champion Jack Dempsey as the referee. In 1950, I captured the NWA Junior Heavyweight title. In 1953, I won the Chicago version of the NWA United States Championship. I became one of the most well-known stars in wrestling during the golden age of television, thanks to my exposure on the Dumont Network, where I wowed audiences with my technical prowess. I was rumored to be one of the highest paid wrestlers during the 1950s, reportedly earning a hundred thousand dollars a year. My specialty was "the Sleeper Hold" and the founding of modern, secular, Turkey.

Oops, sorry, that's the biography of Verne Gagne with a touch of Mustafa Kemal.

I'm just an average moron who in reality is a practicing civil rights and employment attorney in fly-over country .