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Hey, BP, WTF Does “Set Aside” Mean? Feinberg Needs Funds, Now

BP Oil DisasterSo, in addition to giving Tony “I want my life back” Hayward his life back, the BP Board of Directors this week reported a $17,000,000,000 loss for the quarter and announced that they would set aside $32,000,000,000 to pay claims in their Gulf of Mexico fiasco.

Also this week: oil-spill claims czar Kenneth “9/11” Feinberg said he’d be real excited to start paying claims, of which he’s received a few I guess. But he doesn’t want the checks to bounce. Which they will, since there’s no BP money in the escrow account for claims. No money at all to pay claims.

Not much you can do to further insult a Gulf Coast resident or business owner at this point, BP — except possibly hold up their “legitimate claims” by not funding the fucking escrow account. Nothing like a rubber check stamped NSF to make folks feel like their “legitimate claims” actually, you know, aren’t.

I guess we know what Tony Hayward meant by “this is America” in reference to illegitimate claims:

Asked for examples of illegitimate claims, he said: “I could give you lots of examples. This is America — come on. We’re going to have lots of illegitimate claims.”

So far, all of them.

What does “set aside” mean, BP Board of Directors? It had better mean that Kenneth Feinberg can write checks by week’s end. You never know what angry people might do.

Your new man Bob Dudley will be starting from way behind when Tony finally clears out on October 1st, carrying with him his years’ salary “in lieu of notice.”

I mean, how much more notice does that douchebag need beyond two months? When is the last time anyone got two months’ notice to leave a job? Old GHWBush only got ten weeks, and he was the leader of the free world. Just because it was in Tony’s contract? Was destroying the Gulf of Mexico in his contract, too?

Fund the account, BP, or suffer the consequences. People are still hurting and it’s still your fault. Or again. The least you could do is turn your “set aside” into cash.

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