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Good news everyone

Despite the “heroic” efforts of more than three-dozen “brave” and fabulously wealthy Senators, almost all Republicans, to deprive those God has damned with joblessness, it appears that the Senate has 60 votes to reinstate unemployment benefits.   I hope those of you lucky enough to be without a job for a long-time appreciate their efforts.

Undaunted these wealthy elites will now move on to their next holy crusade, preserving the Divine Right of Perpetual Tax Cuts for the “elect”.

I’m sure our nation’s major media figures and their six, seven, or even eight-figured salaries will report on this with all the journalistic integrity they can muster.

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In 1949, I decided to wrestle professionally, starting my career in Texas. In my debut, I defeated Abe Kashey, with former World Heavyweight boxing Champion Jack Dempsey as the referee. In 1950, I captured the NWA Junior Heavyweight title. In 1953, I won the Chicago version of the NWA United States Championship. I became one of the most well-known stars in wrestling during the golden age of television, thanks to my exposure on the Dumont Network, where I wowed audiences with my technical prowess. I was rumored to be one of the highest paid wrestlers during the 1950s, reportedly earning a hundred thousand dollars a year. My specialty was "the Sleeper Hold" and the founding of modern, secular, Turkey.

Oops, sorry, that's the biography of Verne Gagne with a touch of Mustafa Kemal.

I'm just an average moron who in reality is a practicing civil rights and employment attorney in fly-over country .