Mike Jones, the call-boy that brought down virulently homophobic Pastor Ted Haggard of New Life Church has penned a piece for The Daily Beast. Jones explores the topic, “Why Priests Hire Male Prostitutes.”

I, personally could have handled that subject in five words, not the 922 Jones took: “Because they are horny hypocrites.” (Or would that be hypocritical horndogs? Discuss.)

Apparently he’s framed the piece for straight folks because he presumes people were “stunned” by the arrest of New Haven, CT Rev. Kevin J. Gray for embezzling $1M and spending it on gay male prostitutes. Meh, not so much to us, right? Another day, another prominent religious figure (or GOP politician) caught spending someone else’s money on anonymous, sexual encounters with supple, young boys.

Those of us paying attention call that “Friday.”

In truth, the headline is inaccurate, it’s not really “why” they do it, just that they do. In Jones’ considerable experience, this population made up a not insubstantial portion of his clientele (he estimates 15%). Again, not unsurprising. He provides a glimpse into the minds of these closeted clergy and how they operate. In total, the piece more about entertaining anecdotes than deep psychological insight. This passage is amusing:

But people don’t want to know that about their religious leaders. Many want to turn a blind eye, even when the truth is staring them right in the face. When I attended Haggard’s New Life Church after the scandal broke, I was amazed to see all the explicitly homoerotic statues and paintings-sculptures of nude, muscular men all over the place. I also noticed that all the people on stage where Ted would preach were young men-not a female in sight. I was later told that Ted picked out all the art work and the final decision as to who was on stage lay with him.

Jones suspects that like Rev. Gray, his fee was not always delivered on the up and up: “More than once I was paid for my services with a handful of crinkled ones and fives.” But he shows remarkable compassion and empathy for the men he crossed paths (and swords) with. Take this example:

I recall one church leader from Nebraska who prayed after an encounter with me, then sent me a religious book in the mail afterward. Another (who became a regular) always talked about the house he shared with a bunch of “buddies.” And then there was the client who, after hiring me for sex, I was startled to see standing at the altar one day, presiding over the Catholic wedding of a friend of mine. It would be funny if it wasn’t so sad. I felt for my married and religious clients. They were truly unhappy and confused. Some would confess and pour out their hearts with me. Many would cry.

Mike Jones, male prositute, confessor? Sympathizer? Counselor? Why, that’s almost Christ-like behavior.

And Jesus himself is said to have welcomed a prostitute into his inner circle. I don’t expect many religious leaders of today have any inclination to emulate behavior like that, however.

Cross-posted at the Daily Kos. Rec if you got it please.