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Late Night: . . . And Ketchup is Still Not a Vegetable.

Mix those metaphors!

Oy. In her latest grab for attention, the Boreal Narcissus reaches across the Pond–and back in time–to boost her conservative street cred with the Ronnie Reagan Casket Humpers Club:

Controversial US politician Sarah Palin could soon be on her way to Britain to boost her hopes of challenging Barack Obama in the 2012 US presidential election.

Her representatives approached Margaret Thatcher to ask for a meeting as part of a bid to enhance her claim to be the ‘heir to Ronald Reagan’ and prepare to challenge Mr Obama.

And Lady Thatcher has agreed to see Mrs Palin, who stood as the Republican vice-presidential candidate in 2008. A spokesman said: ‘We had an informal approach asking if Lady Thatcher would meet Mrs Palin if she comes to Britain and we said yes.’

Curious minds (and I use that term lightly for anyone who actually posts on Palin’s Facebook page) drove the Scaminator to address the rumors:

As I wrote last year when I offered her birthday wishes, Baroness Thatcher’s life and career serve as a blueprint for overcoming the odds and challenging the “status quo.” She started life as a grocer’s daughter from Grantham and rose to become Prime Minister – all by her own merit and hard work. I cherish her example and will always count her as one of my role models.

Merit and hard work, Sarah. What would you know about either of those things? “Hard work” requires something more than showing a little leg to seduce the National Review booze cruisers into paroxysms of “starbursts” and fevered shouts of “Drill, baby, drill!” while you saunter off with a designer wardrobe from the RNC. “Merit” implies earning just reward through the aforementioned hard work, not conning others into doing your job for you or snookering large swaths of the public into believing you have the requisites to govern at the national level. This, I suspect, may be why you’re going to snub David Cameron while you’re there. Also.

Moreover, Maggie Thatcher finally resigned after 11 years as Prime Minister, not halfway through her 18 months. Deplorable political positions aside, Thatcher could actually engage in debate without resorting to winking and mugging for the cameras. Seriously, can you imagine Sarah Palin enduring even one Wednesday question session before the House of Commons?

All this talk makes Peggy Noonan, president and treasurer of the Casket Humpers Club, weep into her stein of Maker’s Mark at the thought of Grifterella’s attempts to compare herself to Ronald Reagan, Destroyer of Worlds and Republican Douchebag Emeritus (deceased). For one, unlike Palin, Raygun was by no means a quitter, serving out his full terms as governor and President of the United States, even if he was as hucksterish, malignantly stupid, politically mean-spirited, and shallow an actor as Palin is. Come to think of it, those are probably the biggest similarities between them . . . unless Taaaaahd the Puppeteer also sees an astrologer on the DL.

Give it up, Sarah. This has nothing to do with your political belief system. You just want to get a free trip to England for the family, even though you can certainly afford first class airfare by now. I hope the Queen’s Guard are on their toes at the Tower of London while you’re there, or those Crown Jewels may go missing.

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NYC-based aquatic feline that likes long walks on the beach, illuminating the hypocrisies of "family values" Republicans, and engaging in snarling snarkitude.