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Late Night: Because California Isn’t Already Up the Creek? and Other Tales of “Teh Crazy”

(Via Jon Person's photostream)

It’s certainly been a week of whack in the land of Conservatardia, and it’s only Monday. Yeesh.

In a brilliant example of “be careful what you wish for,” Republicans in California might very well be looking at platinum-mopped Orly “O RLY?” Taitz, Birther Queen/real estate dental lawyer on their ballot this November:

Now she’s running for the GOP nomination for secretary of state, and with her establishment-backed primary opponent mounting a less-than-stellar campaign against her, operatives say there’s a chance she could win.

It’d be a disaster for the Republican party,” says James Lacy, a conservative GOP operative in the state. “Can you imagine if [gubernatorial candidate] Meg Whitman and [candidate for Lt. Gov.] Abel Maldonado — both of whom might have a chance to win in November — had to run with Orly Taitz as secretary of state, who would make her cockamamie issues about Obama’s birth certificate problems at the forefront of her activities?”

There ya go, citizens of Teabaggerville. When the conservative sect of the California GOP thinks your ideas are “cockamamie,” you’ve made the big time. Betcha you’re feeling pretty special right now.

Personally, I would love to see eMeg Almighty forced to spend some of her campaign billions to avoid appearing on the same stage as Taitz. And while I wish no ill to the good people of California, it would provide an invaluable service to the rest of the country. God knows, we could all use a bit of light comedy after witnessing the horrors that continue to unfold in the Gulf of Mexico.

Which disaster, as you know, is all the fault of the “Extreme Greenies”, according to the Tea Party’s Matron Saint of Meshuggeh, Sarah Palin, who apparently couldn’t be bothered with the dress code out at Belmont Racetrack on Saturday. (And here I thought fundies were anti-gambling. Huh.)

In honor of a horse named “First Dude” in the race, the Diva of Double Wides arrived at the clubhouse clad in NASCAR-casual wear–complete with cap bejeweled with what looks like a Confederate cross–only to find everyone else had gone Ascot formal. She covered her faux pas the only way she knows how: by lying and blaming someone else:

Sarah Palin’s limo driver got lost for over an hour on the way from JFK airport to Belmont Park.  That’s why she had no time to change her clothes from the white t-shirt, capri pant, baseball cap ensemble to something more appropriate for the “much more formal than that” Belmont Stakes.

Ah, here we go again. Remember that little episode out in Idaho, when she alleged that the airlines “lost” her luggage and she snookered the local Republican party out of $300 for some fugly suit? Maybe she thought her hosts were going to provide her with a little Balenciaga number. Sarah’s got a lot to learn about the horsey set.

Believe me: every limo driver in New York City knows perfectly well how to get to Belmont. At least lie about something you know, Sarah.

But on a more positive note, not all of the country has gone completely insane. Cooler heads have prevailed in Arizona, where not only did the University of Arizona tell the Wasilla Hillbilly’s good friend, Governor Brewer, to bugger it, but KYCA fired the cretinous tool who had demanded that the Miller Valley Elementary School whitewash their mural:

City councilman Steven Blair (R-AZ) stirred controversy by using his radio show on KYCA talk radio to denounce a mural on the side of Miller Valley Elementary School in Prescott, AZ for “depicting a black guy in the middle of that mural.” After his rant, angry callers pressured the principal of the school to order the artists to lighten the skin of African American and Hispanic children depicted in the mural. However, the principal’s decision met public outrage, and the artists refused to comply. Now, the Prescott News is reporting that Blair has been fired from his KYCA radio job for his racist opposition to the mural.

Score one of sanity. I’m sure Sarah Palin will find a way to blame this “injustice” on the “lamestream media” she loves so much to hate. Maybe she can cry about it over an elitist chardonnay with Orly.

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NYC-based aquatic feline that likes long walks on the beach, illuminating the hypocrisies of "family values" Republicans, and engaging in snarling snarkitude.