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Late Night: When You’re Shallower & More Vicious Than Sally Quinn, Wow…

Sally Quinn is of course a very silly person, notoriously so. She wrote what is easily the most venomously airheaded thing ever to appear in a major newspaper in the 1990s — no mean feat, that. A recent profile of her in Vanity Fair has become  instantaneously legendary for its terrifying representation of a self-righteous nasty privileged dingbat run amok. Among other fascinating details, the VF piece contains this sentence, which is very wonderful:

After the firestorm, she entered the concrete meditation labyrinth her husband had built for her on their country estate in St. Mary’s County, Maryland, to think.

I am constantly amazed at the ingenuity of the people who dream up preposterous shit to sell to the absurdly rich. They’re almost as ingenious as the people who sell unhealthy crap to the poor.

So Quinn isn’t exactly someone I’m altogether thrilled about defending, but it’s the peculiar genius of the Wingnut-o-Sphere to place one in such awkward positions.

See, according to an ersatz Malkin manqué, Doug Powers, more usually seen picking his nose and doing other disgusting things at Wing Nut Daily, Quinn blamed Al and Tipper Gore’s divorce on George W. Bush, and gosh that is so very wacky, because according to the wingnut catechism, liberals are always blaming Bush for fucking things up, and they are so silly to do so, because, well, this is not very clear. Anyway. Powers:  “For many, this is evidence of one thing: George W. Bush is not only unspeakably evil, but now he’s the kind of homewrecker for which there is no precedent.”

For me, this is evidence that Doug Powers is full of shit. One. By “many” here, he means Sally Quinn, who is — let’s break out the calculator — oh yes, one person. She does not contain multitudes. Not even a concrete labyrinth can make her plural. Two. Only someone sufficiently syphilitic to be fluent in wingnut could ever so thoroughly mistranslate what Quinn actually said:

Family friend Sally Quinn told CBS News correspondent Sharyl Attkisson that Gore winning the popular vote for president but losing the electoral vote may have done the marriage irreparable harm.

“He’s obviously suffered a lot,” Quinn said. “He’ll never get over that and neither will she.”

If this strikes you as “they went through something astonishingly stressful” and not “many people blame Bush,” well, congratulations, you’ll probably never end up in the emergency room because you stuffed too many Cheetos up your ass.

Other right-blogger emanations about the Gore split involve the idea that he is a total hypocrite because a study shows that divorced people consume more energy than the non-divorced. If this doesn’t make sense to you, again, ass = no Cheetos. Mr. O’Spades insists that “there is a serious point here,” but that’s only because he thinks that his inability to comprehend science and willingness to believe fanciful anti-science bullshit confers upon him a certain kind of moral superiority, that of the smug ignoramus. In other news that will not surprise you, Jules Crittenden tries not to be an asshole, and fails lamentably.

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A community college professor from upstate NY. My wife & I have 347 children, all of them rotten.