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Late Night: Don’t Talk about the Clown, Kathryn

Who’s afraid of Sarah Palin? According to Sr. K. J. Lopez, OLSB*, LIBERAL BROADS.

When Sarah Palin speaks, liberal feminists go wild.

We do? Why, I suppose we do. We go wild. When Sarah Palin speaks, if that is the correct word to describe what she does when she creates noises approximating language, we promptly place our tongues firmly in each others’ cheeks. Also we remove our tops and say “whoo.” I don’t know why we do this, precisely. Perhaps Sr. Lopez will explain.

The woman is like a stilettoed catalyst for backlash from the professional political sisterhood.

That metaphor should be shot from a helicopter.

Much of the bitterness that gushes forth from the lefty ladies has very little to do with Palin herself. It’s about many of the things she represents: She’s a happy mom, surrounded by a big family and husband; she’s pro-life, religious and conservative; and, lest we forget, a political powerhouse the likes of which has not been seen for decades.

Hmmm. I am not entirely sure that anyone is actually “bitter” about Sarah Palin, precisely because she is not, you know, a “political powerhouse,” but rather widely disliked, perhaps because she is not altogether articulate, in the sense that she is not very smart. Also, I myself am, well, married, to a woman, who is a liberal, as am I, and we have several children, and we’re reasonably happy, when they go to sleep, anyhow, so I am not entirely sure what Sr. Lopez is on about here, personally. Perhaps Sr. Lopez is having a spat with the Holy Spirit, who has been out boozing with Jesus and the boys and who has suspicious lipstick on his intangibility, or else she just has a damp and itchy wimple, and is therefore grouchy. Or something.

The rest of the piece is about how the Suffragettes were all exactly like Sarah Palin, because they weren’t, but they totally should have been, because, obviously, Conservative Women have to go back a century to even pretend they’re right about something, which even then, they weren’t.

*Order of Our Lady of the Soggy Biscuit.

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A community college professor from upstate NY. My wife & I have 347 children, all of them rotten.