Ben Nelson is from Nebraska and the only machines they have in Nebraska are trucks, combines, and, well, that’s about it, so it’s really kind of like a big Amish state. But with college football. Anyway, Ben Nelson does not know how machinery works but he knows about “holograms” because he once saw Star Trek episode on a teevee at Ted Kennedy’s house because the Kennedys are rich and can afford fancy elitist appliances.

The Nebraska Democrat pleaded ignorance when asked this week whether Congress should cap ATM fees. Nelson said that while he’s no fan of unnecessary fees, he’s unfamiliar with the charges.

“I’ve never used an ATM, so I don’t know what the fees are,” Nelson said, adding that he gets his cash from bank tellers, just not automatic ones. “It’s true, I don’t know how to use one.

“But I could learn how to do it just like I’ve . . . I swipe to get my own gas, buy groceries. I know about the holograms.”

Also, people in Nebraska don’t really use cash, they use shiny rocks and arrowheads.



Yeah. Like I would tell you....