Former First Lady Laura Bush, who is the Pamela Harriman of dull people, has a book coming out and she wants you to buy it and read it because it will prove that she exists. In this book (which will come out before her  husband’s stupid book because he is a big loser, but she doesn’t want us to call him that because it’s mean) she describes how she was driving and chick-chatting (which was pre-Enlightenment texting, for you youngsters) with her BFF and she didn’t notice an  “under-sized” stop sign and so she ran it and killed Archie and/or Dobie Gillis, and if only Archie and/or Dobie Gillis had listened to Ralph Nader they would be alive today and could tell their friends about that time the First Lady “once tried to kill me” and then their friends would buy them beers to get them to shut up because they had already heard the story like, a bajillion times.

Anyway, Laura didn’t go to Archie and/or Dobie Gillis’s funeral and instead stayed home, drank heavily , smoked cigarettes, and slept…. which also describes her eight years as First Lady.

The end.

I know: I should have put up a spoiler alert.



Yeah. Like I would tell you....