We are all Qatards now

While the Flight of The Sarcastic Diplomat story was pretty much a big nothing it is worth noting two things;

First, every time some little something happens in the air, Americans immediately go DefCon Shit All Over Themselves. Jesus, people, relax. Oh wait….BOOGA BOOGA! Yeah. Right. Now go clean yourself up, Mr. Poopypants.

Secondly, thank Jeebus for the New New Even Newer Intertubes Media for keeping us abreast of this fast breaking story by watching teevee and telling us what they saw on the teevee and by playing Jimmy Olson Blog Reporter and calling up and annoying people trying to do their jobs. Example:

This is breaking right now. A man on a flight from DC to Denver was tackled by air marshals as he attempted to light his shoes on fire.

More info to come…

More (9:42): I’m told the plane has just landed. All passengers are uninjured and the man is in custody.

Later (9:47): I’m a bit ahead of the news. Trying to get more info from DIA.

Another attempted shoebomber from within the United States raises questions about the usefulness of the TSA’s “take those shoes off” policy.

Later (9:56) Talked to media contact at DIA. They’re calling it a “security disturbance”. The plane was from Reagan to DIA. It was met upon arrival by the TSA, FBI, and airport PD. It will have no impact on airport operations. There are no flight holds at present.

Later (9:59): He’s got a diplomatic passport and is claiming diplomatic immunity.

The passport is from Qatar.

Later (10:07): NBC just picked up the story, but they have no details. I’m on hold with FBI.

Stay with us here at the HQ…

Later (10:13): The guy’s name is Mohammed al Modadi. He’s a vice-consul at the Qatari embassy.

Later (10:14): Alright, ABC News has the story, including more details on the guy.

Jebus, they scrambled fighter jets to escort the plane.

Later (10:25): It was United Flight 663.

Later (10:40): Alright I do have some more details. There were two air marshals on the flight. Together they stopped Al Modadi.

Thank God for the air marshals. Without them we would probably be covering a very different story right now.

Later (10:44): MSNBC is reporting that no explosives were found. The MSNBC folks are suggesting that this is some kind of misunderstanding…

Al Modadi was in the lavatory for a long time, raised suspicions of marshals. When he came out, they smelled smoke.

Update (11:10): FBI says there are no explosives in his shoes. Misunderstanding looks more likely.

Update (11:12): The word we’re all looking for is persona non grata.

Yes. The FBI must just love having to field calls from the  Play-Doh & Bacon Vagina Herald Tribune but without the persistence of these intrepid journalists whatever would we have done during those TWO AND A HALF HOURS OF TERROR IN THE SKIES!!? I mean, besides watch Family Guy reruns.

All we can do now is pick through the rubble and wait for  Liz Cheney’s Sunday appearance on Fox where she will point out that nobody attempted to use sarcasm on a plane when her father was in office.

Jesus, Obama sucks….

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....