Proms and Pretty (ugly) Things

Secret Proms being disguised as birthday parties.
Social outcasts being left out and exiled.
A school that has lied in court.
And, once more, an example of some of the issues that surround all of this, and a reason why it is that the T is part of the LGBT.
What's that you say?  Not again? Now I'm “stealing” the prom fiasco?
Well, let's look a bit closely, shall we?

Constance asked, initially, in December if she could take her date.
Then she asked again.  She was told she could not take her date.  She was also told she could not wear a Tuxedo, which she had added to the request.
Keep this in mind, please.  She was told, before the thing became national news and a court case, that she could not take her date, but they could both be at the prom together.
Indeed, that date part wasn't the court  issue.  The issue was that she wanted to wear a tuxedo to the Promenade Dance.
To put it in terms that are clear:  she wanted to cross dress in attending the Prom.
In the interviews with Constance that were published, she made the point that she was told she could take her date, but when she brought up the issue of wearing a tuxedo, the Principal told her that if he let her do that, he'd have to let some boy do it. And he simply was not going to allow that.
Then we find out about a quieter story.  Another story. The same school.  The same Principal.  The same time as Constance asking to go to the Prom.
Someone that Constance stood up for.  Someone that gave her the idea to do this stuff, just by existing. Someone she knew.
One kid.  One Trans kid.  Sent home the first day he arrives at school. Sent home the next day he arrives at school and given a suspension.
Essentially driven out of the school, his entire family being more or less forced to relocate.
Because this kid, who still uses male pronouns from the reports we have, tried to go to school.
No major coverage in the news.  Not even a peep about it.  No one really talks about it.  No invitations to Ellen, no lawsuits, no ACLU.
No outrage.
A school that Constance attended.  A school that Shut Down a prom rather than let a kid attend cross dressed.
The judgement against the school said that it had indeed violated her right of expression, just as they had violated the right of that one trans kid. She won the case.
The judge said she had the right to attend the Prom cross dressed since it was a statement of free expression.
Getting that point now?
They throw one kid out of the school for wearing clothing opposite their assigned sex and gender, and move a prom because another kid wants to attend it in the clothing assigned to the opposite gender with a stated reason of not wanting to let a person assigned male sex do the same.
What if, instead of suing, Constance had simply decided to wear a dress?
She and her date could have gone to the Prom.  It wouldn't have been canceled.  There would have been no lawsuit, no national press.
One gay girl crossing a gender norm.  Not a sex norm — she's not wanting to be a boy. She's a girl, and, thus far, appears to like it.
Do not tell me that this is about being gay.
It is not.
And saying that is an insult to the young person who now lives in Florida, where his family could find work after he was tossed out of school.
Who does not have a 30,000 scholarship and an internship in New York City, who has not been invited on Ellen or been featured in national news stories.
But who's mere presence ultimately started this whole cycle of events.
I don't begrudge Constance her scholarship.  I don't fault anyone for giving her the coverage (although there are Trans folk who do and do so rightfully) or the opportunity.  I am thrilled to death that such things happened for her.
I also think the bullshit thing the school did — and the school is complicit in this, no question in my mind, as are the parents of every last one of the children who attended the “birthday party” they lie about the real Prom being, and every single one of the kids who attended that Prom and left the social outcasts to a community joke — is one of the most unimaginably cruel things anyone has ever done without actually causing physical harm.
All because a girl wanted to wear a tuxedo to a dance, and because some people are so damned afraid of the Trans that they'll even attack a lesbian.
Go on.  Say it.
Say the T isn't a part of the whole.
Go on — advocate for the split, the difference, the breaking up.
The entire thing around this school is because of Trans stuff.  So please, say it.
Because I want you to be aware of the hypocrisy there.
And the cruelty that you are supporting to your own when you do that.
I never attended my Prom.
I didn't even get a chance to think about it.
Some day I'll maybe get to go to a formal dance.  I'll maybe get the gorgeous dress and the wonderful corsage and the whole Promenade experience.
And it won't be the same.
Those things are rites of passage.
They pass, and they'll never be there again…
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