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Late Night: Family Valueless Republicans Demand RNC Respect Their Family Values

Oh, what terrible woes have rained down upon the beknighted chairman of the Republican National Committee. Why, no one ever could have anticipated the self-righteous indignation issuing from the usual quarters because of a brief foray into the world of $2,000/night, simulated girl-on-girl bondage sex theater! Let the sanctimonious piling on commence:

Tony Perkins, the president of the Family Research Council, just delivered a blow to the already teetering kinship of the religious right and the Republican Party. This blow is aimed squarely at the wallet. In an e-newsletter, . . . Perkins urges his members to stop donating to the Republican National Committee, the fundraising arm of the GOP. “I’ve hinted at this before,” Perkins writes, “but now I am saying it: Don’t give money to the RNC.”

Yes, in case you were wondering, that is the same pure-of-heart, unconflicted Tony Perkins who, when presented with the opportunity to unseat the personification of sexual deviancy, chose not to wage a potential Senate race against the prostitute-paying incumbent, Diaper Dave Vitter (R-Huggies):

“I am grateful for those who’ve encouraged me to consider returning to elected office, but this is not the right time,” wrote Perkins in a letter to state party chairman Roger Villere. “Along those lines, I would like members of the State Central Committee to know that I support Senator David Vitter’s bid for reelection in 2010.”

But the poutrage doesn’t stop there. The High Priestess of the Quittites, bedecked in black leather, nipple zippers, and stiletto heels, strode forth from her temple and held aloft her left hand, upon which was written, “I SHALL HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR BONDAGE-THEMED PARTIES!” (unless you pay the $100,000 speaking fee, of course):

Palin’s staff has twice told the RNC to remove her name from an invitation sent to donors, obtained by POLITICO on Wednesday, showing her as an “invited” speaker at the four-day fundraiser in New Orleans, timed to coincide with the SRLC event in Louisiana.

Palin, who will appear at the SRLC, “will not take part in any RNC fundraiser in New Orleans,” an aide said.

She then withdrew to provide counsel to her daughter on the art of tying up loose ends after hosting spontaneous social gatherings in vacant homes for sale. I do love it so when some of the loudest Republican voices complaining about adhering to rigid codes of morality are the ones that are the most ethically challenged. Does anyone really wonder why the hard-core family values types love authority? After all, it’s only one step removed from ball gags, nipple clamps and dog collars.

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NYC-based aquatic feline that likes long walks on the beach, illuminating the hypocrisies of "family values" Republicans, and engaging in snarling snarkitude.