Kate and I saw the most gut-churning commercial the other night and I thought I would be the only person disturbed enough to blog about what has to be the worst-named product in the history of marketing, Colon Flow Activator.

I really don’t give two sh*ts about this, but if you don’t have two or three sh*ts regularly, perhaps you’re so full of crap that you are in need of a good internal Roto-Rootering.

As I said, someone else was traumatized enought by this commercial to write about it. Area203’s Will Smith, in his post “The Most Repulsive Commercial Ever?” shares the details of this late night horror fest.

Last night, just after sinking my teeth into a bite of garlic bread, BBC America assaulted me with a commercial for a product called “Colon Flow.”  It was horrifying…. The announcer first tells us that those who only excrete solid matter once a day may be lugging around 4.5 pounds of fecal matter.  A helpful on-screen graphic then extrapolates this figure for those who only expel such matter once every two or three days.

Is it even scientifically possible to retain 9-13.5 pounds of solid waste?  Babies weigh less than that, and I’ve never seen a guy who looked pregnant because he was constipated.  Even if it is possible, the advertiser should know that such a level of detail is uncalled for.  Sure, shocking information can help sell a product, and to an extent what Colon Flow says is no different than what Ex-Lax says.  But on the other hand, Colon Flow is planting in our heads the mental image of 13.5 pounds of fecal matter.

Does this um, crap, even work? Who knows? The FDA doesn’t have to evaluate Colon Flow since it is an herbal supplement.

So my question of the day is:

Who is a bullsh*t artist most in need of a lifetime supply of Colon Flow?

Pam Spaulding

Pam Spaulding

14 Comments