Yesterday Glenn Beck compared health care reform to, among other things, the New Deal (which is only scary to his Social-Security drawing audience, natch..) and, get this– Pearl Harbor. Now, really. Obama has nearly three years left in office; what, in heaven’s name, is Beck going to invoke next? Not that anyone in his audience would know better, but Beck may be burning his cataclysm candle at both ends. Fortunately, there still are other cataclysms out there to be mined for their awesomeness, but Hiroshima was, after all, the greatest thing since sliced bread to most righties and ought to be repeated as soon as possible, the Depression is already back, thanks to Bush channeling Coolidge and Hoover, and most of his audience thinks that the Civil War was a good thing, except for its unfortunate outcome. There are only so many world-changing horrors to go around, you know; it’s only prudent to conserve them. The latest, most pathetic teabagger shindig, which drew dozens of lumpy and unattractive Americans to Washington to wave their misspelled signs, ought to be a warning to Fox News…. ”Armageddon, and so forth”,* can only happen once, and afterward cable coverage is likely to be spotty at best.

Now, Roger Ailes has once again circled the wagons around its craziest (and that’s saying something) host, having long since chosen the loyalty of the deluded quarter or so of Americans who will believe absolutely anything over the increasingly skimpy fig leaf of “real journalism” that used to somewhat unsuccessfully cover Bill O’Reilly’s overeager naughty bits, but the pin in the grenade has been pulled. Fox has improvidently used up all the best material available, taking out its BS bazooka to vanquish tiny, centrist gnats, when someday, the Democrats might actually try to do something truly “progressive,” and then where will they be? I’ve always been deeply skeptical of the notion that Obama is playing multi-dimensional chess, but if he’s driven the right this cuckoo by governing somewhat to the right of our last successful Republican President, Bill Clinton, he now faces an enemy that’s already used up its ammo.

But since a couple of off-year elections have been declared earth-shattering triumphs for the roundly and deservedly repudiated right, they are all rubbing the fronts of their trousers in anticipation of further victories yet to materialize, a spectacle that is, to say the least, less than appealing to the viewing public. They can beat their flabby chests and bray, but don’t they, at some point, have to, well, offer something, anything, to the electorate? Like their corporate paymasters, all they can do is darkly intone that really, really bad things will happen if they aren’t given the reins of power, but they don’t even bother to concoct any good outcomes from such an unlikely scenario. Over time, this will definitely be a problem, since the wine they’re drinking invariably increases the desire but diminishes the performance, something Shakespeare once pointed out, but that sort of elitist wisdom tends to be pretty much lost on people who think the earth is 6000 years old.

November, 2010 is still eight months away, but the Republicans seem to think it’s next week, and are behaving accordingly. They have their judges, they have their media, and they definitely have their “math,” just like Karl Rove did in 2006, but they’ve yet to offer any tangible reason that they shouldn’t be in rubber rooms, rather than running Washington. Maybe they’ll think of something, but I’m beginning to have my doubts.

Obama may be lame, and a terrible disappointment to those who elected him, but at least he chose the right enemies. This bunch simply doesn’t know the difference between what’s important and what doesn’t amount to a hill of beans, nor do they care…. About the only thing that could save them is another Pearl Harbor, but, oops, they already used that one up. So, Glenn, we survived Pearl Harbor, apparently twice now. What else have you got?

*actual quote from America’s Greatest President, Ronald Reagan

cocktailhag

cocktailhag

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