Late Night: Yes, Virginia, There is a Sanity Clause
There has been a terrible and sad void in the birther community while its Jeanne d’Arc, Orly Taitz, appeals her numerous and varied cases against the Trilateral Commission, the Illuminati, and the Girl Scouts of America before the High Tribunal of Federated Planets. But not to worry. There’s a new wild-eyed, bugfuck crazy person stepping up to the plate: the Attorney General of Virginia, Ken Cuccinelli.
Yes, the Attorney General of the Commonwealth of Virginia. Not exactly the first candidate one would consider for the job.
Not content to defund Planned Parenthood (hey, his wife had to push out seven kids, why shouldn’t you?!) and reverse college anti-discrimination regulations, Cuccinelli was caught on tape explaining that really, President Obama needs to produce his birth certificate:
Q: What can we do about Obama and the birth certificate thing?
Cuccinelli: Well… that’s a good question. Not one I’ve thought a lot about because it hasn’t been part of my campaign. Someone is going to have to come forward with nailed down testimony that he was born in place B, wherever that is. You know, the speculation is Kenya. And that doesn’t seem beyond the realm of possibility.
This isn’t Cuccinelli’s only foray into the Dengue-fever swamps of conspiracy theories; he alleged before a group of potential voters that he was contemplating not registering his latest spawn for a Social Security number, because the Federal government is tracking your every movement with those ten little numbers.
Y’know, as opposed to that GPS unit in your cellphone, or that wiretap the Bush Administration okayed for your landline.
It was somehow fitting that the birther wing of the Tea Party was led by a whacked-out, nitrous-huffing dentistlawyerrealestateagent with the cosmetology skillz of Dr. Frank N. Furter. But a guy who made it all the way to State Attorney General? The hell? Come on, Virginia. Don’t you want your elected officials to have some sort of . . . hell, ANY grounding in reality? And whatever happened to the concept of “professional responsibility”?
This country is so utterly fucked. [Bangs forehead on desk. Repeatedly.]