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They’re pretty sure he’s an American

Well, he's got quite a beard -- close enough

Well, they’ve captured somebody in Pakistan:

Pakistani officials have contradicted each other on whether the suspect is Adam Gadahn, 31, who has appeared in videos threatening the West. Two intelligence officers and a senior government official identified the detained man Sunday as Gadahn. However, a different official Monday said the suspect was an American, but not Gadahn.

He might be this guy:

American and Pakistani officials said the man arrested was Abu Yahya Mujahdeen al-Adam, who was described as having been born in Pennsylvania

In any case they are pretty confident he’s an American because he’s overweight, is so certain about everything, doesn’t like soccer, keeps complaining about what’s available on cable, insists he’s just a re-enactor preparing for Comic-Con, and is inappropriately loud when demanding everybody speak English.

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In 1949, I decided to wrestle professionally, starting my career in Texas. In my debut, I defeated Abe Kashey, with former World Heavyweight boxing Champion Jack Dempsey as the referee. In 1950, I captured the NWA Junior Heavyweight title. In 1953, I won the Chicago version of the NWA United States Championship. I became one of the most well-known stars in wrestling during the golden age of television, thanks to my exposure on the Dumont Network, where I wowed audiences with my technical prowess. I was rumored to be one of the highest paid wrestlers during the 1950s, reportedly earning a hundred thousand dollars a year. My specialty was "the Sleeper Hold" and the founding of modern, secular, Turkey.

Oops, sorry, that's the biography of Verne Gagne with a touch of Mustafa Kemal.

I'm just an average moron who in reality is a practicing civil rights and employment attorney in fly-over country .