Oh Noes! Satan’s in the Vatican!

According to a famous Italian exorcist Fr. Gabriele Amorth, there are sects of Satanists in the Vatican whose members include priests, monsignors and also cardinals. Yes, you read that right: More than one type of Satanic group is busy in the Holy See. Yikes!

In Amorth’s memoirs Father Amorth. Memoirs of an Exorcist. My life fighting against Satan, written by Marco Tosatti, the exorcist priest says that the Pope actually knows about the existence of these Satanic sects.

Of course, he was informed. But he does what he can. It’s a horrifying thing.

He does what he can? Facepalm.jpg srsly. Fer realz? That’s pretty flimsy for the self-proclaimed mouthpiece of God on Earth.

But another priest, Fr. Jose Antonio Fortea Cucurull–a theologian who specializes in demonology and is now studying for his doctorate of theology in Rome– pooh-poohs the idea rampant Satanists, saying that

Innumerable persons come to us who claim to have visions, revelations and messages from Our Lord…a certain number offer apocalyptic messages and revelations about the infiltration of Satanism and the Masons within the dome of the Church.

Oh noes! Not only Satanists, but Masons! Gosh, where’s the Illuminati when you need them?

Fr Fortea explains that just because some clergy

are more spiritual and others more earthly, some more virtuous and others more human, from there to affirm that some cardinals are members of Satanic sects is an unacceptable distance.

Well, gosh, considering that the Catholic Church has a very long list of priests and nuns who abused and molested children, and another list of those who covered up the crimes, it’s not to far of a leap…especially when the Church itself condemns adults who wish marry but are of the same sex. Lies and hypocrisy are sins. Sin drives us from God; therefore…well you see where I’m going.

Fr. Amorth isn’t the first priest to write about Devil worship in the Vatican. Oh, heck here in Los Angeles, if you ask around you can find defrocked priests holding Black Masses, which to me seems a little too retro-Versailles/Là-Bas/Opus Pistorum and just an excuse for an orgy. Yawn.

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Lisa Derrick

Lisa Derrick

Los Angeles native, attended UC Berkeley and Loyola Marymount University before punk rock and logophilia overtook her life. Worked as nightclub columnist, pop culture journalist and was a Hollywood housewife before writing for and editing Sacred History Magazine. Then she discovered the thrill of politics. She also appears frequently on the Dave Fanning Show, one of Ireland's most popular radio broadcasts.