on the attempted suicide of a friend
So my friend M attempted suicide today. He had instructed a mutual friend, T, to retrieve certain “artifacts” from his studio so that “his family wouldn't have to see them”. My boyfriend L is good friends with T, so we got a call and two minutes later were on our way to the theater where M works. We arrived to see an ambulance in front and watched him wheeled out by paramedics on a stretcher.
Long story short, he'll be fine. The drugs he took weren't enough to kill him – just enough to put his liver and kidneys through hell for a bit.
His mother has been fighting with him recently. She is completely unaccepting of his so-called “choice” to come out. It's not a good situation, and hasn't been for as long as I can remember.
The problem is her devout faith. We live a few hours north of Salt Lake City, UT, so that might give savvy readers a notion as to what religion is dominant here. Our town is large for the area, but one can drive the width or length of it in about 15 minutes, 20 with traffic.
M's mother is just …toxic. It drives me up the wall and I just want to tell her everything that has happened wrong in his life is her fault because she won't leave him alone or accept him or actually love him unless he conforms to HER idea of what's right.
Only Truth is beauty, so it's said. There is nothing beautiful about making someone you “love” want to kill themself because they're “not strong enough”.
My boyfriend, L, was shaking on our way home from the ER. He said he couldn't figure out why. I asked him if he'd ever been to the edge. He admitted he had. I have too – closer and more often than I will readily admit.
I think that the large majority of LGBTs out there have contemplated suicide. I don't have the figures or data, but anecdotal evidence would suggest that the suicide rate for LGBTs is higher than the average, especially in rural or semi-rural areas.
I have questions i don't necessarily have answers to.
How do I be supportive of him? How do I help his mother realize what she's doing?
How do we engage people who are so virulently disapproving of our “choice” that they become unreasonable?
What other questions can we ask?