There may, theoretically, exist “conservatives” who have sober, principled reasons for doubting the reality of human-caused global climate change, and perhaps one day diligent researchers may encounter one of these specimens in the wild. However, as of this writing, without exception, the “conservatives” denying climate change are doing so solely because they are willfully ignorant crazy pompous assholes.

Willfully ignorant crazy pompous assholes like these two guys, James Delingpole and Kent Klizbe.

Now, why am I calling these two shitheads willfully ignorant crazy pompous assholes? Well, because of crap like this, a post from Delingpole’s imbecile-pleasing denialist blog on the Web-Site of the UK’s Daily Telegraph, a publication that is sort of like The New York Post without the gravitas.

As I said yesterday, one of our jobs this year is to wipe the complacent smiles off the smug faces of the lobbyists, “experts”, “scientists”, politicians and activists pushing AGW.

Climate Progress says Delingpole here is “Evincing the glee of a middle-school bully,” but that’s because they’re being nice. I’m not particularly nice, so I’ll characterize this as the malignant sneer of an unlikeable middle-school twerp who likes getting high off licking his personal zit-juice. He’s also often (always) comically wrong (that link is Funny, by the way, so read it). But for the full asshole flavor of Mr. Delingpole, you should understand that what he’s doing in this post is cheering on a completely bizarre attempt to spam the colleagues of a grown-up scientist with duckshit loony email. In his own sniggering, whiny words;

This is why I am so glad to report that Michael Mann – creator of the incredible Hockey Stick curve and one of the scientists most heavily implicated in the Climategate scandal – is about to get a very nasty shock. When he turns up to work on Monday, he’ll find that all 27 of his colleagues at the Earth System Science Center at Penn State University have received a rather tempting email inviting them to blow the whistle on anyone they know who may have been fraudulently misusing federal grant funds for climate research.

Michael Mann, in case you don’t know, is a scientist who had the unmitigated gall to commit research that he had published in peer reviewed well-respected scientific journals that has been proven pretty damn accurate to everyone except mendacious axe-grinding Internet pricks. These sins make him worse than Hitler or Pol Pot, neither of whom ever wrote jack shit about tree ring proxies. Candy-asses!

So what Delingpole is rubbing his crotch over is that Mann’s co-workers, all of them presumably over the age of 11 who will thus find this sort of thing embarrassing, will get the spam email reproduced in full after the bump:

Hi,

Greetings and best wishes for a prosperous New Year.

National Search
After the recent whistleblower revelations of emails between climate researchers and data from the University of East Anglia’s Climate Research Unit, there are on-going investigations into potential fraudulent use of grant funds in Climate Research in the US.  I am assisting interested parties who may have details of fraud in climate research to make contact with the proper authorities, and to share in the rewards paid when the funds are recovered.

Whistleblower Rewards Program
The federal government has established vigorous programs to identify and prosecute fraudulent grant applications and administration.  The US Department of Justice (DOJ) administers the False Claims Act.  It allows rewards for those who come forward with details of grant fraud to share in the recovery of federal funds.  This reward can be as much as 30% of the total amount reclaimed.  The program is almost completely reliant on insiders to report their knowledge of the fraud in their institutions.

Attorney Literally “Wrote the Book” on Fraud Recovery Lawsuits
Joel Hesch, Esq., of Hesch and Associates, literally wrote the book on how to report federal fraud.  He has an extensive background in representing whistleblowers in all types of federal funding fraud cases, including Educational/ Research Grant Fraud.  According to Mr Hesch: “Many institutions receive grants, whether for research or educational purposes. When they lie to get the grant or keep the grant or if they use the funds for purposes outside the grant, they are liable under the DOJ program. There have been many grant cases brought by whistleblowers. ”

If you know of anyone who might have details about fraudulent statements or actions by recipients of federal grant funds for climate research, please have them contact me immediately at the below email or cell phone.  Alternatively, they may also contact Mr Hersch directly,  and let him know that they were referred by me.  All communications are completely confidential.  They may want to consider using a third party email service (Yahoo, Hotmail, or other) instead of work email to communicate.

30% of $50 million is more than $12 million.  Ask your friends to do the right thing, and be rewarded for doing it.
Our country, and in fact, the entire world is counting on someone to stand up and tell the truth about climate research. The effects of moving forward with taxes and policies based on fraudulent science could potentially cripple the US economy and cost lives and jobs for generations.

Look forward to hearing from you.

All the best

Kent Clizbe

Again, see Climate Progress if you want to know why this is stupid from a scientific point of view. If you want to know who the fuck “Kent Klizbe” is, and I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t, here it is. You know how the wingnuts keep unearthing bald-headed halfwit psychopaths and fellating them? Jeff Gannon? Joe the Knobslobber? G. Gordon Liddy? He’s one of that phylum. Here, a NewsMax dribbling. And here, the original announcement of the spam. And Oh My Lord.

Crazy. Assholes.