Obama9

A bronze statue of a young Barack Obama in shorts and a T-shirt — and what appears to be a Nobel medal around his neck — has been erected at a park in Jakarta, Indonesia, near the school where the future U.S. president studied as a child…

Once upon a time, when Barack Obama was still a child in Indonesia, a magic butterfly landed on his thumb.

"I will grant you three wishes," said the butterfly.

"I want to be President of the United States and win the Nobel Prize," said Obama.

"Okay," said the butterfly, "and what do you want for your third wish? World peace? Human wisdom?"

"Pudding," said Obama.

Jacob Freeze

Jacob Freeze

I'm a painter and photographer who supplements his meager income by hurling rotten fruit and screaming "Welcome to the Bu!" at the Humvees of hedge-fund managers and their nightmare spawn who get stuck in the ridiculously narrow drive-through at McDonald's in Malibu. They inevitably poop their pants and abandon the vehicle, which I subsequently strip and sell for parts, and that is how I can afford to live in Malibu.

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