We’re buried here in over a foot of snow, and forty-mile an hour winds — trapped, yes, trapped in our homes.

If hurricanes are a big story in Florida, and earthquakes a big story in California, then blizzards are a fucking news story in the Midwest. People are undoubtedly going to die.

So fuck you and your little pretensions about how all of us here in flyover country are just little nabobs who don’t fucking matter. This isn’t some two-inch snowfall it’s a goddamned blizzard.

Why don’t you come and shovel out my car, jerk!



In 1949, I decided to wrestle professionally, starting my career in Texas. In my debut, I defeated Abe Kashey, with former World Heavyweight boxing Champion Jack Dempsey as the referee. In 1950, I captured the NWA Junior Heavyweight title. In 1953, I won the Chicago version of the NWA United States Championship. I became one of the most well-known stars in wrestling during the golden age of television, thanks to my exposure on the Dumont Network, where I wowed audiences with my technical prowess. I was rumored to be one of the highest paid wrestlers during the 1950s, reportedly earning a hundred thousand dollars a year. My specialty was "the Sleeper Hold" and the founding of modern, secular, Turkey.

Oops, sorry, that's the biography of Verne Gagne with a touch of Mustafa Kemal.

I'm just an average moron who in reality is a practicing civil rights and employment attorney in fly-over country .