Sung to the tune of “O Holy Night”

O HOLY SHIT!

MY WIFE JUST CHECKED MY CELL PHONE!

ERASE YOUR NAME,

SHE'LL BE CAllING YOU SOON…

OH HOLY SHIT!

I JUST GOT CALLED BY NI KE

THEY'RE REALLY PISSED

THIS WILL COST ME A LOT!

FALL ON YOUR KNEES

AND PRAY THE TABLOIDS MISS THIS

OH LAWYERS, DIVINE

THIS IS THE NIGHT 

WHERE I AM SCREWED

To the tune of “Oh Christmas Tree”

Oh Pre Nup Doc

Oh Pre Nup Doc

How lovely are your clauses

Oh Pre Nup Doc

Oh Pre Nup Doc

How lovely are your clauses

 and “The twelve days of Mistress”

On the twelfth day of mistress my lawyer brought to me…

12 bimbos singing

11 9 irons swinging

10 voice mail messages

9 Enquirer photos

8 more allegations

7 which are proven

6 sponsors calling

5 MILLION BUCKS (paid out)

4 more accidents

3 ambulance calls

2 kids forgot

and a wife who will get every dime.