Just to prove she’s a good sport, Sarah Palin agrees to a new exclusive interview with Katie Couric.
Katie Couric: Thanks for the return visit, Sarah. Now, everyone is talking about your book, Going Rogue. I’ve read it, of course, and the one part that really blew me away was on pages 185-186, where you tell about the letter that you wrote to yourself, and you wrote that letter in the person of God, signing it "Love, Trig’s Creator, Your Heavenly Father". Wow! Isn’t that just a little bit presumptuous?
Sarah Palin: Well first off Katie, it’s really great to be back on your show. I do have fond memories of our previous discussion; there’s nothing like a good heart-to-heart with an elitist liberal know-it-all to get my good ol’ hockey mom juices flowing!
KC: Thanks, I guess. But about that letter that you wrote to yourself, Sarah, and you signed it God. I’m thinking that a lot of people will find that rather presumptuous?
SP: Now let me tell you, Katie, I’ve been overwhelmed by the response to my book. All those tens of thousands of people who have come to the book signing events and told me how wonderful my book was, and how much they loved me! That’s where you can see the real strength of America – that the real American people can see through the state-run media and their leftist hacks, and find true love in the person of little ol’ me.
KC: That’s nice for you Sarah, but could you please humor this leftist hack, and answer my question? Presumptuous? Maybe just a little bit?
SP: Really Katie, I don’t know what you mean! Of course, my whole family loves my cooking, and Track says I make the most sumptuous moose-burgers in the world. But what does that have to do with my book?
KC: Um, OK, let’s try it from another angle. When you write a letter like that, and sign it God, aren’t you a bit worried about what God might think of what you’re doing in His name? After all, you’re sort of setting yourself up as God’s ghostwriter…
SP: Ah, right, now I get it. You’re worried that maybe me and God, that we aren’t seeing eye-to-eye on something or other? No problem, Katie. Me and God, we talk things over a lot; in fact He consults me regularly. So don’t you worry your little head about God going off half cocked without the two of us knowing exactly what we’re doing.
KC: I see. You know, there are people who talk to God and there are people who think they are Napoleon, and you know, psychiatrists say that this sort of thing is a symptom of a mental problem, sort of two sides of the same coin. What do you think?
SP: Oh, yes, there’s a serious problem there. And let me tell you, Katie, I really feel sorry for those people.
KC: Um, you feel sorry for yourself?
SP: No, no, I really feel sorry for psychiatrists. They live in their deluded little world, and can’t get in touch with their Maker. It must be totally awful for them.
KC: Ah, yes, I see what you mean. Now I understand that you recently visited Billy Graham, and that as a present he gave you a couple of Bibles. I’m just wondering, are you perhaps a member of the "King James only" movement? You know, the people who believe that the King James version of the Bible is the only correct and authoritative Bible in existence?
SP: Well, yes, sort of. Like I usually say, Katie, "If the King James Bible was good enough for Saint Paul, it’s good enough for me!"
KC: Right, well, I think we’d better quit now, Sarah. Sorry, about the twitching, I’m having trouble controlling this compulsion to bang my head on the table. Thank you so much for your visit.
SP: No problem, Katie. Thanks for not asking any gotcha questions this time. See you again in 2012!
To be continued…