I will be the boyfriend you deserve
When we last saw Conservative Pet Liberal Tommy Christopher he was getting blog-killed by Big Bunny because he had the blogdacity* to go “shame shame” over Guy Cimbalo’s hatefuck article/post thingy. As it turned out, pretty much anyone who was familiar with Cimbalao’s article shared Tommy’s opinion, but the timing of AOL’s de-Tommyfying was enough to throw the wingnuts into a frenzy. Well, they’re always in a frenzy, but it was kismet that day because the Mexicans, Muslims, and Negroes were behaving themselves. At least for for a few hours.
Now we see that Tommy has washed up on the shores of the Mediaite (I don’t know how to pronounce it either) blog which is kinda of like the crackbaby lovechild of Politico and Tiger Beat (“Who’s Hot Who’s Not!” “Win a Dream Date with Dreamylicious Jake Tapper!” etc.). At Mediaite, Tommy once again is standing up for the honor of conservative woman ages 18- 28 ( no smokers or fat chicks). This time it is Princess Jesus Boobies who has been out hitting the talk shows flogging her book in much the same way a teenaged Princess Jesus Boobies once flogged her Talk To God button… if you know what I mean and I know you do. It seems that Keith Olbermann made a mean hand-gesture and…… oh here:
Last night on Countdown, Keith Olbermann did another in a long series of segments castigating former Miss California Carrie Prejean, but he added a little something extra at the end. He signs off the segment, in which he discusses the sex tape that features Prejean “by herself,” with a two, then three, fingered “Girl Scout” salute.
The gesture is either a fairly obvious attempt at shock humor, or an accidental one. Given MSNBC’s history of thinly-veiled entendre, and the context here, I’d say it’s the former. It’s ironic that he uses a Girl Scout salute as the fig leaf since, unlike the Boy Scouts of America, the Girl scouts don’t discriminate against gay people.
It’s also ironic like rain on your wedding day.
The response to this was to make fun of her breasts, compare her to a Nazi and a dog, leak R-rated pictures of her, and now, delight in the revelation of this sex tape. The point of this is supposed to be to expose her as a hypocrite, which eludes me somewhat. She’s a model, so how do breast implants and sexy pictures make her a hypocrite? The fact that she sent a sex video to her boyfriend doesn’t make her a hypocrite, it makes her an awesome girlfriend. No, the real point was to embarrass and humiliate her. The effect was not to silence, but to amplify her.
What makes Carrie Prejean a hypocrite is her insistence that she wants to protect marriages by supporting laws that destroy them. If the left had focused more on that, and less on destroying her personally, Carrie Prejean would be a dim memory now. Instead, they get to be wrong right alongside her.
No. Among many other things, what makes Prejean a hypocrite is the fact that she spends the majority of her public time complaining that she is being martyred for her deeply held Christian/conservative beliefs, and spends part of her private time filming videos of herself treating her body like the Chuck E Cheese ball pit. That is supposed to be wrong. But don’t take my word for it, cuz the Bible tells me so:
“Isn’t it still better to masturbate than to commit fornication?”
The easy answer to this question would be, “Yes, it is better to masturbate, because at best it corrupts only one person. It certainly is the lesser of two evils.” However, why would a loving, holy, all-powerful God abandon you to a situation in which you have to choose any evil, whether it be “lesser” or “greater?” To really answer this question, we must again go back to God’s original plan for sex.
First of all, masturbation will not truly relieve the sexual pressure that one may feel. It may for a short moment, but in the long run it only creates a deeper desire and capacity for sex, which will lead to more masturbation. If you let yourself become enslaved to a sexual high, you will find that you need to go to increasingly extreme acts to maintain the same degree of excitement. There are even ungodly sex therapists who recommend masturbation as a way of increasing sexual desire, not lessening it. This creates a vicious circle, like the junkie who craves a “fix,” but is only temporarily satisfied. The more he indulges in his dependency, the more ensnared by addiction he becomes. This is the nature of all sin. That is why Jesus declared that all who sin become a slave to sin (John 8:34).
Furthermore, masturbation usually involves fantasy, visualization, and often pornography. The Bible is very clear as to what God expects of us in these areas of fantasy and lust. It teaches that we must not look lustfully at each other nor should we behave in such a manner as to entice others to lust after us.
The end result is that without the revelation and discussion of the Carrie Does Carrie video, Prejean (whom Christopher thinks would be “an awesome girlfriend”) wouldn’t get within sniffing distance of the morning shows. As to his point that she has been amplified, her book sales (#846) at Amazon tell another story.
Also, used copies for $15.45.
*(I just make these words up, they’re neoblogisms which is also a made-up word)