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Governor Bob McDonnell: A Taliban Con-Man To Match Obama

Remember when Candidate Obama promised trillion-dollar give-aways to investment bankers, humongous tax-cuts instead of help for the unemployed, and incomprehensibly wishy-washy healthcare "reform?"

Remember when Candidate Obama promised to maintain "the very same "state secrets" theories of the Bush administration" and "cordon off all secret actions from judicial scrutiny, immunizing the C.I.A. and its partners from the demands and limits of the law?

Of course nobody remembers anything about the Obama campaign except bullshit, because there is nothing else to remember, and now, for the bullshit-loving voters of America…

A new star has arisen!

And what does the brand-new Republican Governor of Virginia, Bob McDonnell really believe?

At age 34, two years before his first election and two decades before he would run for governor of Virginia, Robert F. McDonnell submitted a master’s thesis to the evangelical school he was attending in Virginia Beach in which he described working women and feminists as "detrimental" to the family. He said government policy should favor married couples over "cohabitators, homosexuals or fornicators." He described as "illogical" a 1972 Supreme Court decision legalizing the use of contraception by unmarried couples.

No more rubbers for you fornicators!

Now McDonnell has changed, he claims.

"Virginians will judge me on my 18-year record as a legislator and Attorney General and the specific plans I have laid out for our future — not on a decades-old academic paper I wrote as a student during the Reagan era and haven’t thought about in years."

But out of 15 proposals for a new Republican policy which McDonnell proposed in his thesis at Pat Robertson’s law school in Virginia, McDonnell is still enthusiastic about at least ten of them.

During his 14 years in the General Assembly, McDonnell pursued at least 10 of the policy goals he laid out in that research paper, including abortion restrictions, covenant marriage, school vouchers and tax policies to favor his view of the traditional family. In 2001, he voted against a resolution in support of ending wage discrimination between men and women.

Listen up, ye female fornicators and other feminist trash! Your wages are about to crash!

So maybe it’s worth examining that long-forgotten thesis, which Bob McDonnell apparently hasn’t forgotten quite as much as he claimed, and since a photocopy of it is available online, and space is cheap on the internet, I extracted and appended McDonnell’s 15-point agenda at the end of this diary, to save you the trouble of scrolling through 92 pages of theocratic garbage.

But Bob McDonnell didn’t carry Northern Virginia and win the governorship by ranting at voters about fornicators and banning condoms! Instead he played those suckers just like… Barack Obama and David Axelrod play that game.

McDonnell avoided discussion of divisive social issues such as abortion and gay rights, crafting his campaign around particular concerns raised by voters from Alexandria to Aldie. He reached out to minority communities and drilled so deeply into local concerns that he was discussing Lyme disease in one neighborhood and Guantanamo Bay prisoners in another.

At a gathering of Hispanics in Fairfax, he greeted the group with "Buenas noches." In Falls Church, he spoke at a Vietnamese American shopping center draped in the colors of the flag of the former South Vietnam.

"He is a household name here," said Shandon Phan, 30, a nonprofit organization worker and a member of the Vietnamese American National Chamber of Commerce. "He runs ads in magazines and TV and radio, and he comes to meet-and-greet events with his wife. It was a very personal touch."

So watch out, Democrats! The Republicans have got a new guy who knows how to play the new game, and incomprehensibly wishy-washy healthcare "reform" along with double-digit unemployment won’t send you back to Congress in 2010, or the White House in 2012.


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Jacob Freeze

Jacob Freeze

I'm a painter and photographer who supplements his meager income by hurling rotten fruit and screaming "Welcome to the Bu!" at the Humvees of hedge-fund managers and their nightmare spawn who get stuck in the ridiculously narrow drive-through at McDonald's in Malibu. They inevitably poop their pants and abandon the vehicle, which I subsequently strip and sell for parts, and that is how I can afford to live in Malibu.