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Our Beautiful Future of Public Corruption, Brought to You by the Internet

“The Rise of Craigslist and How It’s Killing Your Newspaper”

This is old news, and it’s also the last news, as New York Magazine described it way back in 2006, when most of the army of idiots who elected Barack Obama and the other army of idiots who wanted Sarah Palin instead were still sleeping peacefully in political indifference.

And it was already old news even as far back as 2004, when Barack Obama was still an insignificant state senator in Illinois, and Sarah Palin was nobody.

“Craigslist costing newspapers millions,” screamed CNN

In San Francisco alone, newspapers lost $65 million in ad revenue, and San Francisco and Denver and Minneapolis and Cleveland and Philadelphia started firing reporters and editors and researchers and didn’t stop until it got very dark in city halls all across America.

Now nobody covers city hall, except in New York and two or three similar venues, and even in New York almost nobody covers crime, and after four or five years of blissful ignorance, didn’t the public wake up one day with news so big that even the internet noticed it!

The economy had collapsed! Trillions of dollars had simply disappeared, and nobody knew or knows now or will ever know where it went, because the professional reporters who knew the players and read the playbook have disappeared, too.

So when Henry Paulson screamed for $700 billion now, because… “Don’t even ask! You wouldn’t understand it even if I bothered to explain it to you!”

He was right.

You can’t “follow the money!” You don’t know where the TARP money went, or the trillions and trillions that the Federal Reserve poured on top of TARP.

You don’t even know what Obama did with all that money that you gave him. $750 million in campaign donations, from the little people of the internet. $750 million from the high society of the “information society.” What a pathetic joke!

In 2004, Bush/Cheney raised $260 million, and in 2008 Obama raised almost three times as much as Bush/Cheney. Where did it go? Look it up on the internet, if you can find a few details, and forget about verifying anything.

So the “information society” nominated Sarah Palin and Barack Obama, and that was a national election! Sarah Palin and Barack Obama were national candidates, and if those two pigs-in-a-poke can contest the White House, what the heck happens in local elections?

You don’t know. You won’t ever know, because all those reporters who watched your back generation after generation are gone. The reporters who noticed when a councilman’s wife bought a brand new fur coat are gone. The reporters who noticed a Patek Philippe Calatrava watch on the wrist of a building inspector are gone.

This is the first bequest of the Millenial Genetration, the Internet Generation, to all future generations, after so many bullshit bequests from the Boomers. This is the generation that killed newspapers with the ridiculous little convenience of Craigslist, and that’s what the internet really signifies for American politics.

All the rest is idle chatter.

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Jacob Freeze

Jacob Freeze

I'm a painter and photographer who supplements his meager income by hurling rotten fruit and screaming "Welcome to the Bu!" at the Humvees of hedge-fund managers and their nightmare spawn who get stuck in the ridiculously narrow drive-through at McDonald's in Malibu. They inevitably poop their pants and abandon the vehicle, which I subsequently strip and sell for parts, and that is how I can afford to live in Malibu.