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How Many of’s “Republican Heroes” Would Be Republicans Today?

Pictured: a man-hating feminazi from Taxachusetts

Pictured: a man-hating feminazi from Taxachusetts

MC Steele’s new joint,, has been savaged around the blogosphere and media — even by conservatives like Marc Ambinder.

One of the new site’s features is a page of “Republican Heroes” — a rather random collection of historical figures, about half of whom are 19th century African Americans. But how many would be a Republican in today’s Southern wingnutty GOP?

Let’s take a look.

Susan B. Anthony: a feminist lesbian Unitarian civil rights leader from Massachusetts? Yeah, right.

Pinckney Pinchback: hard to tell, but he fought on the Union side during the Civil War, so I’m going to go with no.

Octavius Catto: African-American civil rights pioneer from Philly. Doubtful.

Jackie Robinson: Oops.

Everett Dirksen: tried to amend the Constitution to allow prayer in schools and was a favorite of Joseph McCarthy. Probably.

Frederick Douglass: no fucking way.

Edward Brooke: introduced legislation banning missile testing, championed Title IX and fought for Medicaid-funded abortions. Off the reservation.

Ellen Foster: who the hell is Ellen Foster?

Abraham Lincoln: expanded the power of the federal government, created the IRS and the income tax, questioned the divinity of Christ and freed the slaves. ‘Nuff said.

Dwight Eisenhower: expanded socialist fascist New Deal programs, created department of Health Education and Welfare, raised already record-high taxes to pay for massive federal highway project, warned against “Military-Industrial Complex.” Any questions?

Ronald Reagan: liberalized abortion, raised taxes, signed a treaty against torture and cut-and-run when the A-rabs attacked. Sorry, Ronnie.

By the way, where’s Barry Goldwater?

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