Fanboy, Interrupted

Okay, here we are, alt dot nerd dot obsessive.

Famous historian Jonah Goldberg is mad and sad, but mostly mad, that his favoritest TV show is not providing him with the sweet cocoon of oblivion that he requires in order to forget that he is, afterall: Jonah Goldberg, fat dumbfuck:

Either you are with me, or you are my enemy!” shouted a young Darth Vader in 2005’s Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith, one of the execrable prequels to the original films by George Lucas. In response to this all-or-nothing provocation, a disgusted Obi-Wan Kenobi replies, “Only a Sith deals in absolutes!”

Siths are Jedi Knights who have given themselves over to the Dark Side by embracing the evil emotions of anger, envy, and revenge. Readers of Commentary can be forgiven for neither knowing nor caring about this. But it is worth noting that for millions of Star Wars enthusiasts, it was very serious stuff indeed. Lucas revived, if not reinvented, the entire genre of science fiction in the 1970s by embracing bold and mythic depictions of good and evil and the heroic battle of the former against the latter. For decades, the established premise of the Star Wars franchise was that the universe is divided into the Dark Side and the Light Side of the “Force.” Jedi Knights—champions of all that is noble and virtuous—were warned never to give in, even a little, to the Dark Side, lest they lose their souls. If all that is not about “absolutes,” then what on earth (or in a galaxy far, far away) is? And Lucas threw it all away to get in a dig at George W. Bush.

His swipe at Bush’s famous iteration of the doctrine that would bear his name—“You are either with us or against us”—in a few seconds unraveled the entire moral superstructure of the Star Wars franchise. Such gratuitous political self-indulgence saturated the popular culture during the Bush years, in fare that had absolutely nothing to do with the policies of the White House.

Also. Jesus hates George Bush:

He that is not with me, is against me: and he that gathereth not with me, scattereth.

Also. George Orwell:

Pacifism is objectively pro-Fascist. This is elementary common sense. If you hamper the war effort of one side you automatically help out that of the other. Nor is there any real way of remaining outside such a war as the present one. In practice, ‘he that is not with me is against me.’

You would think the guy who wrote the authoritative text (never previoously having been made in such detail or with such care)  on fascism would be hip to the Orwell quote.

Then Jonah goes on and on and blathers about Battlestar Galactica and then something about it reminding him of the Bush years, but I didn’t really pay attention while I read it because it was like listening to someone describe the totally awesome  eighteen holes of Frisbee golf they played that day and then you start daydreaming about sex, and eventually suicide, and how equally appealing each one of them suddenly seems at the moment.

Oh, sweet oblivion….

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....