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Late Night: Conservative Bloggers Cower Before Marxo-Fascist Dictator, Are Probably Sissies

If conservative blog-dwellers really and truly believe their stuff about Obama being all evil & Fascist & Commie, why wouldn’t they support a military coup to depose him? Because they’re sissies, obviously. Cowards. Chickens. Bawk-bawk-bawk.

So, earlier, a crazy right-wing person posted something especially crazy and right-wing at NewsMax, which is saying something, because News Max is a site that solely exists so that crazy right-wingers can post crazy right-wing crap on the Internet — crazy right-wing crap like, oh, this (an example chosen more or less at random). But this particular earlier right-wing crap managed to Cross a Line by suggesting the American Military might just take it into their heads to politely and peaceably stage a coup and depose the president on the grounds that he is an evildoer bent on establishing a Marxist Dictatorship in the United States of America.

To be sure, the tone of the column is more sorrow than anger: oh nuts it’s such a drag that we have to get the military involved, but goshdarn it, this Obama fellow is a Marxist Fascist, so whatareyougonnado. Not that this sort of distancing was able to keep the column from getting deep-sixed. Nor was it able to prevent Shocked, Shocked conservative bloggers from talking about how kooky and out-of bounds such a column is, because that’s not how we do it in this country, buster, where we have elections!

Well, fair enough. I guess. But then, well, I rather wonder why exactly they might be taking this sort of reasonable line, that elections have consequences, etc. For instance, the Confederate Yankee goober informs us that "we are a nation of laws, not a nation of mob rule and coups by military strongmen." Good to know. But then, those of us with memories that stretch back all the way to last spring remember that the Confederate Yankee goober was saying stuff like this, about how when the black guy got elected he was gonna take yer gunz:

As severe the rush is now, it would be even worse if more Americans knew of Obama’s attempt to corrupt Constitutional scholarship while at the anti-gun Joyce Foundation. Barack Obama is a gun-banner at heart, and there is every reason for Americans to doubt his campaign’s more moderate rhetoric when compared to his actual record.

Buy guns, America. It’s good for the economy, good for the development of our nation’s moral character, and our last bulwark against tyranny.

So, clearly, for the Goober, an armed uprising against the liar-in-chief is something all good, decent Americans ought to be contemplating. Indeed, the Goober believes all good Americans should be buying guns in order to forcibly resist the policies of the elected president.

Maybe it’s just me, but the peaceable military coup idea sounds less messy, with a lower body count than this "let’s pretend we’re Liberia!" fantasy. Why not go for it?

Because, you know, you have to ask, what’s the problem with this News Max scenario (which is not the first of its genre, by any means), if the general consensus of the online right is, in fact, that Obama is about to impose the dictatorship of the proletariat? That he is, you know, not going to do any such thing, and that these charges are more than a little hypocritical, is not my immediate point.

What I’m saying is that if the right wing really believes that Obama is as dangerous as they say he is… then logic and patriotism ought to dictate that they should be in favor of a peaceable military attempt to depose him. And to be sure, they really have said he’s just that sinister. Shit, News Max just themselves published a detailed explanation of why the Obama presidency is creating a world just as bad as the one we’d be living in if the Nazis won.

So why not a coup, if they really believe their shit? Like I said: they’re sissies.

Either that or they are willing to flirt with destroying representative democracy, but not willing to fuck Mussolini. Or something. Cowards!

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A community college professor from upstate NY. My wife & I have 347 children, all of them rotten.